#1: THE MAN TRAP
- well since this is our maiden voyage i obviously must observe some of the primary faults that i assume will follow me through my journey regarding the production at hand. it shouldn't be a surprise that the acting can be a bit shoddy, the action sequences can be anywhere from cheesy to downright hilarious in their execution, the usage of certain characters can be questionable and as much as im sure this shit was groundbreaking in its way back in the day the sci-fi elements can shift from relative plausibility to window dressing to what feels like a goofy derivative monster of the week or b-movie type production. frankly however, it's watchable. enough that i think i'll be able to withstand the duration of this infamous dated work of envelope-pushing cheesy bullshit. to boldly go where millions of nerds have gone before.
- regarding this specific tale, i had alot of feelings regarding tonal issues and troubles with the decision to opt for offering the audience such omnipotence to the proceedings. the former isn't shocking, the amateurish sets, the corny dialogue and the rather slovenly pacing of the creature's mischief - which despite multiple deaths is about what it comes off as rather than any legitimate intimdating invasion of the safe quarters of our heroes - all of these things guarantee that this wont be some grand thriller, but the tone is especially struck by the decisions made as far as how to make our protagonists so utterly clueless and worthless and have them trailing an antagonist who so easily should be found out but they remain utterly befuddled the entire time. our creature in its various impersonations is so unbelievably transparent and harbors so many tells with dead-eyed staring and creepy smirks and just fucking Standing Idly in the open around other characters doing their business as though thats inconspicuous, yeah all that should give this thing away quickly but we have a runtime to stretch things to. the solution here, in a vague sense, would be to change the episode's direction and either give our characters a bit more sense of competency - considering this is their fucking job - OR perhaps more helpfully at least give us, the audience, a sense of being as left in the dark as them. what could potentially be an intriguing mystery if directed more intelligently and offering us little fragments of logic to piece together, becomes an exercise in watching the protagonists wander aimlessly through scenes of law & order esque stone faced declarations and exposition as we watch this creature slowly deplete the crew, it becomes an almost looney tunes level game of cat & mouse where all i as a viewer can feel is C'MON FUCKIN REALLY THAT IS NOT MCCOY HE'S JUST LIKE STARING INTO SPACE HES MAKING WEIRD INHUMAN FACES etc. etc. if you give me all this knowledge you take away any excitement anyway, at this rate the only way this sub-twilight zone concept of a shapeshifter fucking shit up all sneaky like only interests me if the monster itself is intriguing and yuuuup it isn't. it doesn't talk alot, it tricks people but it isn't commendably written or legitimately conniving, these guys are just contrived to be idiots and mccoy especially is too busy thinking with his dick to do anything useful until the very end and even then he drags on staring as it nearly kills kirk. the monster is brought down completely in two shots so it isn't powerful either. it isn't intimidating unless you find awkward silences and face grabbing scary in some way. in every sense its a pretty low level villain, and once it finally gets its real form revealed that is also disappointing because it looks like fffffucking Swamp Thing. the whole adventure here loses alot of potential organic flow, frankly it moves along a contrived path of improbable misunderstandings and characters simply not catching a whiff of anything odd, it barely even makes sense that it takes the creature socking spock to make mccoy see any reason, considering that he wouldn't shoot it even when it began trying to sap kirk of his salt. it can't be exciting because the idea isn't intriguing on its own and the direction tells us everything and makes us too damn smart to accept how dumb our supposed heroes are.
- so, is this episode terrible then? well, no. it definitely has alot of fundamental bullshit that deters any actual tension (along some hilarious shit like kirk and spock wormin thru th sand and the shot that stuns crater, oh my god that visual is so bad its fantastic), but thankfully the episode even as it focuses on a rather unengaging and even stupid villain fills the spaces with alot of Little Things that show me why i may be able to enjoy and appreciate this show even in the roughest moments. the creature isn't interesting but i did still wonder who it would turn into next, i did wonder how everyone would react to the creature, i did wonder about the creatures actual origins (though i can't say they were particularly exciting), but mostly i was intrigued by the stuff that had nothing to do with the main tale. little back-and-forths between characters establish a potentially strong or at least believable ensemble, cheap but amusing props like that Flower Puppet that is straight up a hand and doesn't even try to hide it but i appreciate it because though it isn't relevant that much to the story - besides attempting to alert in its wailing siren call that green isn't green - its just nice to see these things that make the world feel more alive. granted thats a bit dented with the fact that the planet containing the creature and crater feels otherwise entirely dead but that adds to the actually imposing elements of the creature, showing that it was able to swallow this planets lifeforce basically whole, the only element of the creature that actually feels all-encompassingly creepy and powerful, for the obvious reason that unlike most of the story material here, it is merely implied and not spelled out so clearly for us that all we can rely on is the characters to make the adventure interesting. yet on the latter point while they acted pretty foolish pretty consistently they still offered some fine dialogure, some believable moments like trying to figure out what was killing things at first, it really only becomes unbelievable as the creature's presence on the enterprise becomes more notable, especially when it comes in contact with mccoy as nancy and he just doesn't even budge or hesitate and just assumes Yeah Its Fuckin Nancy Lets Get This Dick Wet Yo. that i think was the line. at times it feels like a mystery, at times it feels like a crime drama, at times very casual and dialogue based and at times a bit more action-oriented (though again, lol). so to some credit this isn't extremely competent but there is a firm heart here, passion exerted and a desire to approach a story for many angles. it isn't rigid, it doesn't play the entire hour like a bunch of idiots not catching an alien, they do actually get certain things done and to be fair them not recognizing the creature paired with us knowing full well whats going on puts a pin in potential suspense but does not make the ride completely joyless. the enterprise does feel alive, as an early episode does it carries through the various parts of the ship paying attention to all the various folks comprising the encapsulated ecosystem of this small but definitive locale in the series where im sure alot of the calms before storms and more dialogue-based moments will take place to give context and a bit of humanity to each adventure. it isn't like this is a plus in every sense, really this episode in a vacuum cant be credited for this at all, its more because its the first one. still, i can only judge something based on my enjoyment in the moment, and as it stands it did give this thing more of a pulse than i was expecting, and if im gonna have to watch the supposedly capable captain kirk fail to put two and two together on a creature that is making weird faces right in front of him then at least give me something to compliment that, thats what stops this from being a particularly bad looney tunes production, the idiocy is a small part of a greater whole and even though it might influence every action here the actions themselves can produce interesting or creative or just amusing scenes. it's deeply flawed, as many early and especially first episodes are - oh what? the sixth episode you say? well then, that is a bit pathetic - but really its actually kind fun. i could spend all the time in the world explaining how this lacks the suspense it could have in more capable hands who have an eye for subtlety or tone or what have you, but the adventure is still fun, watching the creature infiltrate the ship and worm its way around, watching the crew slowly crack the more subtle parts of the mystery, watching the believable in-the-moment goings on of the ship and the little touches that make it feel rather alive, feeling perhaps a sliver of tension when it brings down another crew member, knowing that it will never get its way but is certainly coming dangerously close, all the while still knowing that it shouldn't have been able to at all. this thing cant withstand even casual analysis, but it also manages to withstand the blows with a bit of earnest, cheesy corny fun intact. a bit. there's work to be done here, alot of it, to make things more thorough, more believable, more lively, and i hope that im not always feeling like im watching a mystery rather than taking part. whether or not they'll ever legitimately wrangle me in, make me feel involved, remains to be seen. for now, ill take this as an introduction. dopey in the logic and details but genuinely spirited and intrigued enough in itself to transcend its internal flaws via greater attention to the world its constructing. ultimately, the most outright Star Trek-y elements may save even the least Star Trek-y of stories. but it cant rescue the show forever.
this episode gets a C +.
NEXT VOYAGE! well it appears the gals of the ship wanna fuck a big foreheaded guy who doesn't know what girls are, also he appears to have some sort of unprecented super strength because he wiped out some people then knocked spock's head into a wall and gave him a Boo Boo. this is sure to be An Episode Of Star Trek. also someone go back in time and tells nichelle nichols to sing like 100% less.
