That's a good one. I still use "Mr. Candyass" sometimes. My favorite (and the one I'm thinking of) is addressing the unruly class with "I say there's nothing wrong with you little bastards that can't be solved with a quick return to the days of corporal punishment!"
Runner-up being holding the giant wooden paddle in front of the class and sarcastically going "some short-sighted federal appeals judge says I can't use this on you!"
So on Friday I took a half-day for a doctor's appointment (bad news is I might need invasive back surgery, good news is I got approved for a medical card whoo) and coincidentally right as I was getting ready to leave, I started hearing a loud water-flowing noise down the hall. Sewage was flooding out of the nearby bathroom and within a few seconds the entire second-floor hallway and the classrooms in the immediate area were flooded with the stuff and it was flowing down the stairs, flooding the first floor and out the front door (as well as dripping down through ceilings and flowing down the elevator shaft like a waterfall - someone happened to be coming up in the elevator right as it was happening and when it opened, "water" was just pouring through the ceiling and into the elevator itself). They evacuated the school and dismissed early for the day. Which makes me mad that I requested a half-day because I would have left at the exact same time anyway and probably would have gotten compensated for being forced not to work the rest of my day.
Now today the whole school smells moldy and nobody's sure how to clean most of the places the shit got to so they're highly concerned about mold (as well as the fact that there's festering human waste soaking into the walls and between floors and standing in the elevator shaft). The library here got hit by some of it and there's carpeting in here so you may be able to imagine how that smells. How delightful. And now it's been ascertained that, rather than being a burst frozen pipe like everyone expected (it being a snowy day), it was some student that forcefully, physically ripped a pipe off the wall. Today they're checking cameras trying to figure out who it was. I'd hope he gets expelled at the very least but they're probably going to give him college credits and a "party" in his honor like they did for the vermin in here spouting rape-culture bullshit and shoving teachers out of the way for the campus life readiness garbage. Not even sure if I wanna share this story with anyone IRL because I really don't want to listen to more of the inevitable horseshit about how "he's just a little child, that's what children do, 18 is still a child so you can't be mad at him for just doing stuff that kids do", "if he gets in trouble now it will just ruin his future; once he goes to college he'll start learning how to act like an adult and become a better person." Ugh.
Normally I don't advocate hitting people as a way to change their behavior, and i think its generally abusive.
But those little shits you've been describing, [MENTION=67667]LosTickaToeRest[/MENTION]? The ones who joke about rape and make derisive comments about LGBT people and act like it's SUCH A BUUUURDEN that their fucking phones are being taken away from them?
Fuck ethics, I would cane those little bastards into next week, and I'd have a smile on my face while doing so.
I guess part of it is that I seriously resent seeing kids get away with this stuff. At home I'd get a backhand and get grounded for looking at my mom the wrong way or for not being able to answer her phone calls in class (because it was "proof" that "something's going on that I should know about and you're lying to me about it") to the point where I was afraid to do anything remotely resembling "acting out", and at school would get detention for things like standing in the school foyer waiting for a ride after dismissal because it was storming outside and I was on crutches, or not being able to participate in P.E. for too long for their liking because I was immobilized by surgery, while every other high school student I observe just gets a "kids will be kids" reaction from the school itself and every other adult I know no matter how horrible it is, or even get rewarded like in the case of these kids. Had a big angry discussion with my boyfriend the other day about some of these kids on their senior trip to a theme park running around breaking things and vandalizing things and picking fights to the point they had to leave early, and he thought the school
was being unfair and that they "earned the right to be able to act like that for making it through high school" (exact words). I know it's not exactly logical and I don't know what these kids are going through outside of school but it's difficult to avoid the first thought I jump to being "their parents aren't hitting them hard enough".