5.5/10 - It's "All Right," not "Alright"
The Kid is All Right is a very mixed bag from Tim Long. The execution is done pretty nicely (surprising coming from the writer of such abominations as the Mary Spuckler episodes and Elementary School Musical), but the premise of the episode is no good.
The episode starts of with a "Silly Simpsony," which is by far the best part of the episode. In retrospect, it's probably one of the best moments of season 25. I've always been a fan of old Disney animation, and Music Land was always one of my favorite ones. Seeing The Simpsons take on their own musical version of Music Land, titled Music Ville, was amazing to see. Music Ville had some of the best satire of season 25; while the entire segment felt like Music Land and constantly reminded you of it, Music Ville never became a lame "Funtendo Zii" parody; it always kept a Simpsons touch to it, whether it's in the musical instrument versions of the characters, in the surprisingly well thought-out plot about freedom from oppression, or in Mr. Burns's very evil characterization. (Sidenote: French horn Milhouse's water from his instrument was a nod to the spit valve of a French horn always containing a bunch of spit, more so than other brass instruments.) It's nice that they paid homage to the original Music Land by having no dialogue in the segment, instead relying on musical sound effects to simulate speech and emotion. The music is very catchy; it's a little choppy at times (especially when they cut to the different genres of music toward the end), but overall it's blended quite nicely. It's not very easy to do, but they pulled this opening off very well. It's now one of my favorite extended couch gags. I'm not going to freeze-frame the segment, because here it is in its entirety:
After the opening, it unfortunately goes downhill from there. Lisa starts it off by singing "One is the Loneliest Number." Once again, the writers must have forgotten that Lisa has Sherri, Terri, and Janey, among many other friends. Still, good singing voice from Yeardley Smith and good joke with Lisa stopping abruptly and saying, "You know, I really think I've made my point." We get a lot of hit-and-miss jokes through the opening with scenes at the school, but the plot moves along nicely. It was fun to see Bart hurl spitwads at Lisa using paper from Lisa's report, "The Effects of Sibling Rivalry on Academic Development." As Lisa enters the school library, more hit-and-miss jokes ensue, my favorite being Bart hissing like a vampire when Lisa shows him "Little Women."
At 4 minutes, 20 seconds into the episode (couch gag included), Isabel makes her first appearance. That's a great score for modern Simpsons, and, combined with the lack of subplot here, makes for a very well-paced episode with ample time for character development. The dialogue when they meet shows them both as second graders, which is nice considering the turn the episode is about to take. I liked Lisa's anagrams of her name: "Alps Mission," "Pails in Moss," and "Plain Miss, so?" Isabel's anagram is "Be Lisa." The two then stop talking as Bart shows up in the background and makes faces. I would have preferred Bart to make faces while the two conversed, which would have made for a great background gag, instead of putting all the focus on Bart like they did here. Maggie makes a Gerald statue out of one of the best visual gags in years, "Play-(Annoyed Grunt)." The episode then wastes no time in getting Isabel to call Lisa. Nice side joke with Milhouse pulling a green M&M out of his ear, tempting Homer to argue with his brain over whether to eat it or not. It ends with a really funny payoff with Marge putting the M&M back in Milhouse's ear. Again, Milhouse getting bullied never gets old.
I really didn't like the cutaway gag with Marge calling to Lisa, "Someone you love put melted butter on it!" (her salad), and then cut to Mr. Bergstrom putting the melted butter on the salad. It was so random it felt like a Family Guy joke. The joke could have been much funnier if it had been, say, Grampa, who spread the butter and then asked where he was. Lisa and Isabel agree to work together on an FDR project. Isabel responds with a terribly weak "woo-hoo," which brings me to the point that Eva Longoria's voice acting with this character was really weak. Oh well, beats "Hey everybody, look, it's Eva Longoria herself!"
The next scene starts to ruin the potential of the episode. Lisa and Isabel read their reports on FDR, which sound nothing like a second-grader's report. While they read their overly sophisticated papers, Lisa finds out that Isabel is...unfortunately...a Republican.
The Simpsons have always had the potential to do amazing political episodes where they purposely mock both sides of the argument and give every political issue a deliberate Simpsons twist. With The Kid is All Right, the writers instead choose to portray the Republicans as evil monsters and Lisa the liberal as an angel voice of reason. "Purposely mocking both sides," much? No. And that's what ruins the episode for me.
Moving on to the second act: Lisa and Isabel argue very unrealistically (i.e. the dialogue is unrealistic for second-graders) over politics, none of which I actually care about. The only great line was Isabel (who is apparently Argentinian) asking Bart if he knows what "Ay carumba" means, to which Bart replies, "Uh, there's a carumba in my eye?"
Marge takes Lisa up to the attic to reveal that she voted for Reagan because she was going through a phase in her life. More politics? Ugh. I did laugh at Homer and Bart's 80s party, though. "Where's the beef? Tear down that wall! Because I think the beef is behind that wall." Also of note: We see the Olmec head yet again in the attic. Laughed at the Super Bowl Shuffle: "If you try to run, you'll get a heart attack!" It was really weird to see Homer actually choke Bart unconscious, though. Amid all this craziness, Marge makes a point that despite their political differences (I repeat: ugh), Isabel and Lisa can still be friends.
We're back in the library, and we get a scene similar to the one where the two first meet. Lisa and Isabel make up because, as Lisa says, "We're only eight. Can't we just play Monopoly or something?" Cut to a camera in the hamster cage (feels straight out of the Scully era), which leads to the Springfield Republican Party Headquarters ("Now 28% Wacko-Free!") Oh boy...more politics. Present at the Republican Party meeting are Chalmers, Mr. Burns, Wolfcastle, Dracula (??), the Rich Texan, and Krusty. The Rich Texan says that the Republicans have to recruit Isabel. Recruit Isabel, an 8-year-old girl? (Nice joke with Chris Christie thinking GOP stands for "gravy on pancakes," though. Wolfcastle should have used it in Let's Get Silly.) He did ruin the joke at the end, though, with "But seriously, despite my mirthful remarks, obesity is no laughing matter." As the act ends, the episode has taken a decisive political turn. And with latter-day Simpsons, that's never a good sign.
It's school election day, and there's a sign-up banner: "Reppy the Reptile Says: Don't crawl under a rock, run for class rep!" Hopefully that lame joke was intentional. Lisa will be running for president against Isabel...and Ralph. "Just call me Ralph Nader. I don't know why." At least make a callback to E Pluribus Wiggum instead of using some random pointless one-liner like this. Isabel and Lisa agree to run fairly, that is, until Mr. Burns shows up in Isabel's locker. "How'd you get in there?" "Slid in through the grates."
At Phineas Q. Butterfat's Ice Cream Parlor, the Republican Party gives Isabel the "scoop" on their stupid plan. They offer her a tainted victory over issues I really don't care about. Good joke, though, with Isabel saying "You can't buy me over with a wheelbarrow of ice cream." In the background, the Squeaky-Voiced Teen makes a U-turn with a wheelbarrow full of ice cream. Also, Mr. Burns: "I had enough money to convince People magazine that I was the sexiest man alive! Of course, most of the time was spent convincing them that I was alive."
Really odd joke with Bart's karate classes being his psychiatrist. Signs of the Republicans helping Isabel are showing, and I don't care for any of them. I did like Otto saying that he was "strictly middle-of-the-road." He then drives the bus in the middle of the street. Isabel confesses to not knowing what's going on either (like the rest of the audience who don't care for politics). The plot does kind of drag around here, but that's probably just me bitching about the Springfield Republican Party garbage.
It was fun to see a drunk Lisa (on imaginary beers) at Maggie's Tavern in her room. Lisa then asks Bart to help her win the election; once again, a political election that I don't care about. Lisa punching Bart was kind of cringeworthy. The political tactics Bart uses at the school; handing out brownies, throwing Isabel dodgeballs at students, and staging a mock debate with Milhouse (Bart as Isabel), all pretty devoid of jokes.
The plot moves along nicely, and thankfully winds away from religion for a second, as Lisa realizes that her political tactics are turning her into Mr. Burns. After being fired, Bart goes for a drink at Maggie's Tavern too.
Okay, so this is supposedly the "climax" of the episode. Chalmers says that the elementary school debates (what? This is an elementary school election, not a presidential election), the first of 37 ("good Lord"), will involve Isabel and Lisa (whose name is mispronounced...kind of confusing until you realize Chalmers is on the Republican team). Chalmers mentions to Skinner, "You can fog a mirror, but I wouldn't call you alive." True, since you're hogging all of his spotlight in the new episodes.
The climax of the episode is...Lisa making a dramatic speech about being a liberal? She's portrayed as some kind of hero because of her political views. The Simpsons shouldn't be taking sides, but that's exactly what they're doing right now, whether it's with the Republicans being portrayed as evil (Mr. Burns...need more proof?) or Lisa as the perfect girl, they need to stop with this political non-satire.
The fourth act begins with Lisa in a very political dream. I kind of zoned out during out that segment, because frankly it's almost as bad as the Springfield Republican Party scenes. It's a second-grade election, not a presidential election! The President Wore Pearls got that fact straight.
Wait, more debates? Fine. At least this one gets some moral straight; it throws away the political garbage between Lisa and Isabel and says that it doesn't matter who wins, because they'll remain friends. Despite getting the moral straight, there is no emotion in this scene, because of the buildup being clogged with a bunch of political garbage.
Willlie puts the "Election Results Today!" banner away, along with "The New Funzos are Here!" "Whacking Day: School Closed," "Congragulations Bart, on Being a Genius," and "Coping with the Dome." Any of these were better than the Mr. Bergstrom callback. Really fun to see.
So Isabel wins the election. Lisa is disappointed, which reminds me of the disappointed hug scene at the end of Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Mr. Burns being crushed by balloons and sent on an ambulance was funny, although it showed Burns at his weakest.
And because it's been political all the way through, throw in some political at the end too. Milhouse says that 53% of votes (keep in mind, these are second-graders) would vote for a liberal - just not Lisa. That makes her happy, I guess. Oh yeah, and because we need an obligatory guest star to appear as themselves, flash-forward to Decision 2056 where Anderson Cooper moderates a real presidential debate between Lisa and Isabel. Really good scene at the end, though, where we see Homer and his tuba counterpart from the opening (both aged) watching Lisa, saying "That's our girl." Really good callback. The credits play a really entertaining jazz version of the opening. Jazz has always been Alf Clausen's strength.
Too. Much. Politics. (like E Pluribus Wiggum) The idea of the episode was okay (Lisa makes a friend), the pacing was great, the jokes were slightly above average, but again, there was so much political crap in this episode I had to sift through to get to the decent moments. Overall, the goods and bads cancel out for a flat 5/10, but I bumped the score up half a point for the Silly Simpsony to end up with a
5.5/10.
Tim Long...*sigh*...just go away.