"No wonder Febuary is black history month! It's the shortest month of the year and it's the coldest, that keep us from havin' parades!" --Chris Tucker
Well, it's another Sunday and another long and whiny review which nobody will give 2 shits about, but anway...
Our "Color Yellow" adventure begins with Bart characteristically wanting to help Willie use his TNT to lay waste to the Springfield Elementary, but to Bart's chargrin, it's only to remove a stump and make Skiner say: "My Kia!," which Kia is the perfect car and abbreviation for Skinner. Why, because just like Skinner's 'Nam buddies, KIA stands for "Killed in Action."
Anyay, after Ms. Hoover notices the Mykia Stumpcar, she's 'enthusiastic' about assigning a Family Tree, which makes Lisa excitied, of course, even if she has to "go back to Adam and Eve!". Unfortunetly, Grandpa has to add the "let's bury this joke" add-on. You know writers, the ideas is to build jokes to affect the punchline, not to try to hide the distended joke structure. And of course, just when the story gets going, it comes to a halt, again, as Bart decides to 'help' Lisa get into the attic for another time dragging joke...ugh. Just when you thought it was safe for Bart's help to end, they could ve ended the scene with Bart getting a BAM folding step to the eye, but no...
The attic holds a nice array of stuff from Past episodes: Homer's space suit the painting of Ringo, the statue from that Jewish THoH episode, the olmec head, Funzo, the bigger than Jesus album, Bart's I didn't do it shirt, ect...But it would've been hillarious if there was a random strange guy tied up in a corner, bound and gagged. Just Kidding.
Once Lisa crosses the Attic of Past Episodes, she finds a diary buried in the dust of Eliza's corpse, er, I mean dust from nearly 150 years of being at the bottom of the chest. Back in the kitchen, Grandpa and Homer are assaulting Lisa with the notion that digging up the past is a bad idea. Were they worried it would involve digging up a corpse? Did a Simpsons relative murder Jimmy Hoffa? Were we finally going to see whose blue hair was in that grassy knoll? Anway, Lisa is shocked to learn her ancestor was happy to be a new slave owner---"GASP!!!!" COMMERCIAL BREAK--But it turns out that Lisa was wrong to judge her because her ancestor "Eliza" was in the position to help the slave escape. Also, for some strange reason, Eliza's mother looks like Marge. Hmm...and did you notice, that ribbon makes Eliza look like Big Maggie 1860? Oh well, at least Eliza didn't sound like Tress McNeil. Phew!
Astetics aside, Bart's ignorance takes up valuable joke/story time with having to be explained what the underground railroad was. Lisa being annoyed could've just led to: "Go look it up!", but he had to lay it out for Bart and the viewers who hadn't passed the 3rd Grade, yet. Unfortunetly, Homer decides to toss Lisa's Diary up into the ventaltion duct for no reason other than to keep is daughter from learning about the "harsh" realities of the Simpsons family name. Huh? This 'caring and concern" is coming from a man who in all likelyhood cannot remember the last time he went and made poopee, and the man who bet against his daughter in a crossword competition. Um, okay...Maybe Lisa would've found 20 bucks and bribed him into not being such a jerkoff and to get out of her way for the quest of the truth and A plus.
It's called "Dissapointment" Lisa, better learn it while you're young.
Unfortunetly, for some reason the writers forgot about Marge and her speech a long time ago to Lisa about "Being Herself". Well, either Marge is a hypocrite, or Lisa can't 'be herself' when she's on the verge of finding out some kind of revelation. Oh, well...At this point, I was half expecting Lisa to be a decendent of Jebidiah Sprunfeld.
Anywho, as the story of Eliza's soul baring continues, we're now back to Col. Burns's ball and his Smithereaque assitant is rigging the waltz to be played out-of-time and the dancers are comically falling all over each other.
Of course, they get off on an awkward gag "No you're pointing South!". I see in the 1800's, comedy wasn't invented yet.
After a neatly animated escape, the diary begins to fall apart...and to some extent, the story does, too. After a WTF joke about Pork Butts and Cream, the story continues in of all places...a cookbook written by 1860 Marge Simpson, where 2010 Marge Simpson points out how the story of Eliza was implanted in a footnote.* Uh, writers...pointing out the story as part of the joke doesn't make it funny.
*You see, Jake's review is amazing and by amazing, I mean the only opinion that actually MATTERS, bitches!
So anyway, Eliza and Virgil just happen to stumble upon a weapons factory and 12,000 experience points that enabled them to power up and defeat the slave owners and they were given a magical key to Burns's Gold. Wait, I mean Eliza and Virgil "just happen" to find a nice, Krusty clown who daubes Virgil in white face paint and Krusty manages to explain the currency rates from 1860 and 2010.
Shortly after arriving, Virgil invents them roundy cake things with powerderd sugar and HomerAhHiram decides Virgil can stay and swears to keep his promisie of likeing those roundy cake things with powdered sugar. Feeling vindicated, Lisa let's out a yelp of Joy and is ready to take the story to the world!
Unfortunetly, no one ever pays Lisa in 3 layered gum.
After a slightly amusing bit with Ralph, Lisa takes the stage and has a Mac attack at the start of her report. After quantifying Eliza and setting her legacy, Milhouse's Great, great, great (looks at watch) great, medicore Grandfather 'just happens' to overhear how Hiram 'sold out' Virgil to Mr. Burns' because 'everybody has a price' after a whimsical pokin' and a proddin'. (thank god he didn't do a full body cavity search) When Eliza overhears the happenings between her father and Burns and is given a quick and dirty history lesson about the shackels of 19th century male opression and quickly shuts her face. Not surprisingly, Lisa breaks down at the thought of Eliza being a coward. And in a truly heartbreaking moment the Obama's didn't get their time on stage. 'sigh' This is what's wrong with America!
Back at the Lesbian Library, Lisa tries to find out what happens to Eliza, but instead all she finds is heartbreak as her centurian ancestor regrets never taking any action against 1860 Mr. Burns and how it was her 'only regret'. Maybe she had other regrets, but something doesn't gibe....read on.
At home, when Abe hints he might know something as Lisa is crying in her own sea of self-philosophical mire, Homer threaten's to 'cool' down Abe and Abe goes all "Sunday's with Abie" until Jerkass Homer actually uses his powers of persuasion to get Abe back to semi-reality.
In a twist that an episode promo picture could love, 1860 Marge decides to take Virgil to safety herself and when they reach canada, they start a curling team together. No, wait, they start a new life together and it turns out they have a son, 1870 Bart who turns out to be Abe's Great, great, grandfather.
Anyway, about the partthat didn't gibe from above, how did Eliza not know what happened to "Marge" and Virgil? At some point over the next several decades, they must've have come in contact either through the mail, or takign a trip, or Twitter...okay maybe not.
As a whole "Yellow" wasn't anything special, but since it was a Lisa based story, the writers seem to know when to make the story a bit more tasteful, even if the jokes aren't terrible. Could it have been better? Oh, hell yes, but if this is the last shitty episode of S21, I could live with that and this wasn't a shitfestlike "Curl" and "Thursdays".
3/5: A Definate Ms. "Meh" Hoover.