Mental health thread (general)

Nice to see its okay now to be condensing af in a thread where people are talking about their mental issues
 
Came off antidepressants because they were actually WRECKING my degree. I have been mostly stable, but now am sat here crying because the antipsychotic, which has actually been effective, which I've been on for over a year, has made it literally impossible to lose weight. I am engaging in borderline anorexic behaviour. I last did this before I was put on any meds, and lost so much weight. The same exact actions now do nothing but firm up my lower legs; I feel like a fucking whale and I'm stuck with a choice between destroying my future so I can be physically healthy (this drug actually causes diabetes, among other things), or staying on it and having health consequences that I may regret for life. I didn't realise it was this bad until now, and I was willing to believe I was a lazy cunt and deluded and actually not making enough effort to be healthy, but no, it doesn't matter what I do, if anything I gain. And then I feel like a piece of shit because some people are at this level of disadvantage naturally, but um, so am I, because I have mental health problems requiring medication which means I can be simultaneously riddled with an eating disorder (starving, not binging) and be the size of a tank. I feel like whatever I choose to do it will be made out to be my fault by the sickos in power at the moment. Stay off drugs and be unemployable? My fault because I was offered "help" and "chose" life on the dole. Stay on drugs and be huge? My fault because of course "no one" stays obese if they eat less and move more. I'm sorry, that's utter bullshit. I'm scared, very scared. I'm obviously hardly stable as it is and now all I can think about is I don't want to die of being obese when I hardly ever let myself eat anything I enjoy, and wouldn't I be "happier" if I was drug-free and thin? Except mental illness doesn't work that way. I'm just trying to stay out of the hospital because I don't want to hurt the NHS any more than I already am by claiming free medication. Maybe I really should stop. Like, if I had to pay for it I just straight up fucking wouldn't, so that's the right thing to do, isn't it? They want me dead. The thought that anyone has it worse, which I'm convinced actually almost everyone else in my income bracket does, makes me want to kill myself. Genuinely. But I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm staying alive so I can vote, because FUCK YOU.
 
Since things are on the up and I start a full time job early next month, I've been feeling a lot better than I was.

I'm far less quick to anger nowt oo to an extent, hence why I'm posting here instead of reading the forums and exploding like i used to.

It's funny because no other forum or makes me feel as angry as NoHomers does/did, especially the Free For All.

It got to a point where I thought about stooping really low and uncharacteristically launching personal attacks. But being a man of morals, and moreso a man. I nexed that idea very quickly.

Overall, I'm much calmer now than I was. Do I still get really irritated by the very sight of some posters here? Sure, but it'd be childish of me to act upon something like that.

I think I've turned a corner.

That's all I'm gonna say for now because I've gotta get ready for work.
 
Geez, just looking at the world without antidepressants is unbearable. I don't even engage in casual sex and I'm sat here crying because some people think "stealthing" is their right. (That's removing the condom during sex without the receiving person knowing.) I'd honestly rather have an animal's understanding of sex, because nothing good can come of philosophising on the matter. Hit me over the head, hard. I'm done. Sooner go through what's to come with no comprehension than the way I am now, but at the same time I just can't go back on the meds that made me unable to read. So brain damage is the only real option. At least it takes no maintenance.
 
Well. Had a psychotic break after being punched in the eye by some random chick. Completely shut down as soon as the police arrived. I am utterly incompetent, but basically me and my employer are stuck with each other because I'm not employable by the standards of anyone who pays a legal wage, and on their end, training somebody else is too much like hard work. Ah, the paradox of the zero-hours contract. Much like the issue of regulating sweatshops, I'm left unsure if I'd be better or worse off, should this sort of employment become completely illegal. Tempted to side with worse off, because illegal jobs don't beget references, and that... that is truly depressing.
 
Well, I probably calmly told her to stop doing something else like shouting. I never black out when drunk, but I remember nothing of the next hour or so after that. Thankfully it only occurred to me now after the best part of two days that I could have been punched multiple times and the last thing I *remember* is the unsuccessful shot at my eye. I should be fine now. Been sacked though. Eh. Earnings were negligible anyway, and besides I'm a fucking psychotic alcoholic and should be on the dole. No further details because it's identifying. Rn I feel so hopeless, but it's honestly my ticket to just claim benefits and not work because I have a recent record of being criminally incompetent at handling important keys, drinking on the job and inconveniencing a ton of people.
 
I can't believe I'm posting in this thread again...

Some may have noticed I've felt unusually moody lately. Like, even for my standards. I don't want to go into specifics why I feel this way more recently, but I feel so convinced I'll never find someone who loves me back or even shows interest in me. I mean, why would anyone be interested in me? I'm just awkward and too emotional, right?

Right now I've just been sitting in my chair for 2 hours eating food very slowly. I can barely think about anything else. I feel so unwanted. Nobody would even consider taking an interest in me, no matter how nice or caring I would be. It's hopeless...


Ryan, you're a total cunt.
 
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I can't believe I'm posting in this thread again...

Some may have noticed I've felt unusually moody lately. Like, even for my standards. I don't want to go into specifics why I feel this way more recently, but I feel so convinced I'll never find someone who loves me back or even shows interest in me. I mean, why would anyone be interested in me? I'm just awkward and too emotional, right?

Right now I've just been sitting in my chair for 2 hours eating food very slowly. I can barely think about anything else. I feel so unwanted. Nobody would even consider taking an interest in me, no matter how nice or caring I would be. It's hopeless...

im sorry for the fact that you hold the idea of a relationship to such status that its the only fathomable way you can find any potential satisfaction but this is not a mental health issue (although theyre definitely related). you failed to take my advice before so ill say again If You Want Ever To Be Happy You Have To Let Go Of The Idea That It Requires A Goal That Is Not Tangible For Everyone And May Never Come True. not because god hates you or because the worlds women are out to get you but because thats just how it works. you are not guaranteed love and while i hope you can find happiness in a wholesome way you arent entitled to the attraction or love of others in any capacity its a two way street thumbing down a checklist of Nice Things and failing numerous times should tell you that its not something you can feel you earn on your earn perception of your merits.
 
this was a pretty big year in terms of my mental health. I hit my lowest low earlier this year, and was really considering ending everything. luckily, one of the staff members at the mission could tell something was up with me one night and kept pressing, trying to get me to talk. ever since then, I've found it's a bit easier to tell people about stuff that particularly upsets me. I went to a mental hospital for a couple weeks and learned about 'triggers', coping skills, was put on medication, all of that. I still do have somewhat of a problem with telling others about when I'm really anxious or depressed, but it's not as bad and I actually do talk, instead of just keeping things bottled up. I try to hide the "Oh, nobody really cares" thoughts.

I'm pretty happy with myself, for the first time in a while; I'm glad I got some help and have new... tools, for lack of a better word, to fight these feelings when they do appear.
 
Well, Since that last post I've been pretty good.

My paranoia has gone significantly down so much that I'm no longer afraid to post here without the irrational and somewhat egotistical thought of certain members gossiping about me behind my back, so expect me as a semi-regular presence from now on.

I haven't punched a brick wall in months, instead opting to check my pockets or tie a shoelace as a distraction.

Counselling has really helped. I'm no longer feeling guilty about where I am in life, or guilty about liking 'geek' culture at 24 because as those things don't get in the way of a job I love then what's wrong with that? nothing.

Music is helping me so much, as always. Got myself a ticket to see Randy Newman in April and I can't wait for that. In fact I've been out to gigs and concerts more often than I ever expected. from Ken Dodd to The Dickies. Yes I go on my own but that's not a problem.

Self-deprecating is something I still have to work on, as it's become my go to defense when I'm anxious, so my and my counsellor are trying to work something out.

The funny thing is, I'm a member of 3 forums and it's only this one that has caused me to become ill, the other 2 don't do that at all.

I think that's because with this one being so heavy about pop-culture than guilt just kept creeping up and I couldn't handle this place any more. One of the other ones is but they aren't as opinionated as some of you guys and I'm not as intimidated by them as I was/am most of you.
 
Is it really true that medical marijuana can help you combat stress? I have been reading some of this article that marijuana can help them cope with stress and it helps them relax. I haven't tried using marijuana but i plan to to help me with my stress but i dont know where to start. Can anyone give me any info that can help? Thanks!!
 
Haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, but I suspect I have a diagnosable level of anxiety and/or depression. My health insurance takes effect at the start of the month and I plan to make an appointment with someone very, very soon because I've been on the verge of a breakdown for a while. Luckily my gf has been here to help, and has calmed me down on a few really bad days recently. (Granted it also doesn't help that she and I recently moved across the country, so I'm dealing with getting acclimated on top of being sad and missing all my friends and family)
 
Sorry to hear that, bud. Hopefully you get the help you need. Lately my unemployment has been putting me on edge as those in Discord are well aware of. Anxiety sucks, dude.

Oh and...

I can't believe I'm posting in this thread again...

Some may have noticed I've felt unusually moody lately. Like, even for my standards. I don't want to go into specifics why I feel this way more recently, but I feel so convinced I'll never find someone who loves me back or even shows interest in me. I mean, why would anyone be interested in me? I'm just awkward and too emotional, right?

Right now I've just been sitting in my chair for 2 hours eating food very slowly. I can barely think about anything else. I feel so unwanted. Nobody would even consider taking an interest in me, no matter how nice or caring I would be. It's hopeless...

hope you enjoyed your salad

rip
 
i just feel worthless 24/7. cant even work out or walk in this stupid fucking weather. literally i never feel good about myself and how my life is or how i look or how i am perceived by others or just anything. jus feel like totally dog shit all the time and its just exhausting. i know nobody likes me so why do i even fuckn try
 
literally dam near cried when i looked myself in the mirror. very happy about all these body image issues and confidence issues i got from my dick head of a brother, and how everyday I just feel worse about myself
 
bumping this Acclaimed thread cuz i dont rly wanna Clog up discord w my issues, but Jeezus. like legit, i rly dont know. like i just hate everything about myself. hate how ugly i am, hate how masculine i am, i hate how annoying and dum i am. like srsly i just hate every fucking thing in my life. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh christ. i just do not know what to do or how 2 get thru shit.
 
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