Let's just randomly post funny quotes

From the expanded universe:
Bart: Hey, Lisa?
Lisa: Yes, Bart?
Bart: Why did the Newfie Militia enlist 10,000 epileptic
soldiers?
Lisa: <with a slight grimace glances upward briefly> Why?????
Bart: So the enemy can't figure out who's been shot.
 
Dear somebody you never heard of. How is so and so. Blah, blah, blah. Yours truly, some bozo.





Look, buddy. Your car was upside down when we got here. And as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that.
 
J. Jonah Jameson-type character rifling through Homer's photos: Terrific. Outstanding. This has 'page 1' written all over it. (Holds up photo with 'page 1' written all over it) What the hell did you do that for?

Homer: I wanted to remember my place in the book I was reading.
 
279267879_10158752112489290_8397407737183454138_n.jpg
 
Homer: "Son, a woman is a lot like a… a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and… um…"
 
"And now, you lose everything, and I go back to whatever it is I do."
1655513350893.png
 
The saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my dad at most things... Bart experienced that at the age of four.
 
Mmm... not bad.
Nice hot Mustard...
Good bread...
The turkey's a little dry...
THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY?
OH FOUL THE CURSED THING!
WHAT DEMON FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL CREATED THEE?!
 
"Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got those big chewy pretzels here, theSJanrtHHgym five dollars??!!!? get outta here........."
 
Last edited:
This is probably not a popular quote but I like it so here it goes:

From the Season 5 episode "Burns' Heir":

Homer Simpson: (disappointedly) "He locked the door." :homer:
 
I'll make Ted Kennedy pay! And, if he fights back, I'll say that he's gay!
 
"Hey Fallout Boy!"
"What's for lunch tomorrow?"
"Next!"
"Chicken necks?"
That part, for some reason, makes me laugh so hard when I first saw it.
 
Flanders: "I used to let them watch 'My Three Sons - but it got them too worked up before bed!"

16708628_10155041453502206_4481092925046990968_n.jpg
 
Marge, please. Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
 
Some random Spring Breaker: "Show us your boobs!"

Marge: "Not now."


Say what you will about the Scully era, but when a gag gets stupid or ridiculous enough, it becomes funny instead.
 
Back
Top