Let's just randomly post funny quotes

"Marge, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody...
about my busy hands,
not so much for myself, but I am so respected,
it would damage the town to hear it"
 
Homer: It's your fault I'm bald!
Grampa: It's your fault I'm old!
Maggie: It's your fault I can't talk!
 
"Oh, Marge. If there was a reality show named "Fat Guys Who Really Love Their Wives", not only would it be an enormous ratings success, but I'd be the first one on it."
 
Wiggum: LISTEN UP BIG DADDY:
YOU DON'T SCARE ME.
I'M THREE STEPS AHEAD OF YOU.
Skinner: OH, CHIEF, YOUR BOY HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED.
Wiggum: OH GOD!
 
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Bart Simpson, I'm gonna do what clowns do best: Kill.

- Toy Krusty, THOH XXXI
 

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Buck Mitchell:This is the worst blimp crash ever
Grampa:TOO SOON
I dont know why i think a line abobut the hindenburg is so funny
 
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!

(So It's Comes To This: A Simpsons Clip Show)
 
Homer: Bart, you don't want to miss out on experiences of your teenage years. If you do, you'll feel as bad as I do when I miss the toilet.

[scene cuts to Homer running down the stairs and hiding behind the couch]

Marge: [from upstairs] HOMER SIMPSON!
 
:bartsmiley:: [referring to the educational cartoon] What the hell is this?
:lisasmiley:: It's one of those campy seventies throwbacks that appeal to Generation X-ers.
:bartsmiley:: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.
 
Ned...have you thought about one of the other major religions?
They're all pretty much the same. [he hangs up]
[The next thing he sees is his train crashing]
Oh. Damn Flanders!
 
Lou: You know, I went to the McDonald's in Shelbyville on Friday night --
Wiggum: [interrupting] The McWhat?
Lou: Uh, the McDonald's. I, I never heard of it either, but they have over 2,000 locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Must've sprung up overnight.
 
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