Let's just randomly post funny quotes

Marge: " Homie I don't think we should build this fence. Haven't we told the children to be friends with those who are a little different. "
Lisa: " Yes "
Bart: " Yeah "
Maggie: " Ja ja "
Marge: " Ahhhh "
Maggie: " Ja ja "
Marge: " Maggie's first words are an ogcdenvilliese! "
Homer: " Now do you see Marge, now do you see why we must build that fence! "
Marge: "Build it Homie, make it as tall as the sky and bigger than hell! " OMG :lol:
Maggie: " Ja ja "
Homer shakes his head towards Marge
 
Marge: " Lisa, I made you some home Pepsi for the dance. It's a little thick, but the price is right."
Lisa: " Thanks mom, but I told you I am not going. "
Marge: " Ohhh...So you don't have a date. You can still go and have a good time. "
Lisa: " You don't understand I don't belong here. Those girls are already into fashion and make-up and dating. They made me feel like a baby. "
Marge: " Oh, honey a baby couldn't have organised a school dance, unless it was a specially skilled or one of those super babies in Brazil " OMG :lol: (Where did Marge heard of that? She is hilarious!)
Lisa: " Forget it mom I am not going! "
Marge: " But they are counting on you to take tickets and if you sit there with a brave little smile and a festive bow you could be the bell of the ball "
Lisa: " Mom you can't possibly believe that! "
Marge: " I have to honey! Or you can stay here and have our own dance. Every Simpson dance now...bump..bump...bump.bump..bump. " :lol:
Lisa: " I' ll go "
 
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Lisa (Snow White): (trying out three different beds) This bed's too hard! This one's too soft! And this bed is just... like the first one! Also too hard! I guess I'll sleep in the one that's too soft.
 
Mayor Quimby: Let it never be said I cannot admit a mistake, especially in the middle of a recall campaign. We will now destroy the new Jebediah Springfield statue. Chief, you may fire when ready! (Chief Wiggum shots the S.W.A.T. tank's cannon, but the bullet ricochets off the statue and destroys the tank itself) Damn it!
 
Marge: " Homie I made you my killer lasagna "
Homer's head: " It's poisoned, whatever you do, don't eat it! "
" Okay you ate it, but don't finish it! "
" Alright you finish it, but don't ask for second! "
Homer: " Second please! "
Homer's head: " You moron just kill her! "
Homer says aloud: " I'll kill her after dessert! "
 
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Bart: " What are you teaching dad? "
Homer: " I am giving lectures of what I do at work! "
Bart: " Well what do you do at work? "
Homer: " Well I...you know the button stuff! " :lol:
*Lisa looks at him concerned*
Marge: " Have you prepared a reading list? "
Homer: " I have to read! " :lol:
Marge: " No, It's for them! "
Homer: " Woo-hoo! "
*Lisa sighs and her hair goes down*
Bart: " But what actually are you going to say to them? "
Homer: " I will start with the life cycle of an atom! Baby atom is called a neutron, when it turns professional it becomes a proton and if it runs an opus it becomes an electron "
* Homer says as Lisa drinks a glass of wine*
Marge: " Lisa did you just drink all that! "
Lisa: " How did you guess! No seriously! Oh, wow WOW my first nerd word! Hmmm! Dad, a college education is important, it's my only hope getting me out of this, pardon me mom, DUMP! " :lol:
Marge: " Lisa go to bed right now! "
Lisa: " Ahhh, keep your pants on lady! " :lol:
Marge: " Ahhhhh "
Lisa: " Dad, dad, dad, dad....daaaaad! I believe in higher education, you are a teacher and if you make a joke out of it you are crashing my only hope! " * starts crying *
Bart: " As the good kid here, I have to point out she's acting very badly. " :lol:
Lisa: " For shaaaaaame! "
Homer: " Lisa, sweety, my professor money is going into your college fund. "
Lisa: "Ohh..that's good I guess, how much is in it now? "
Homer: " Depends on what we are going to do with grandpa after he dies! "
Grampa: " Just burn me! " :lol:
Homer: " Ohhh..WOW that is the most expensive option I am considering! " :D
 
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Homer: " Try not to look sad, it will seem suspicious. "
* The Simpson family walks while they are smiling *
 
I took it from simpsonswiki:

Bart: Dad, you were great!

Lisa: And you contributed to our culture!

Homer (worried) Well, I didn't mean to.

Lisa: No, no. It's a good thing.

Homer: (relieved) Oh, good. This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father-daughter dance.

Lisa: The dance isn't till next week.

Homer: Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.
 
One of my favourites is "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.")) I find it really funny and super real to our life))
 
[FONT=&quot]Look, Marge, you don't know what it's like. [/FONT]I'm the one out there every day putting his ass out on the line! And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, yb. ou'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!
 
You know what happens.
They find Kook's Treasure,
All the elves dance around like little green idiots,
I puke,
The End.

Also, while I'm here, Dental Plan.
 
It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies! Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!
 
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