Let's just randomly post funny quotes

:bartsmiley:: Telegram for Lisa Simpson! [pretends to open envelope]
:homersmiley:: Don't listen! It's a trick!
:bartsmiley:: "Dear Lisa, Psyche! Psyche, psyche, psyche! Signed, Super Psyche."
:homersmiley:: I think he's trying to psyche you out.
:margesmiley:: Look, we're all trying to have dinner, so why don't we just psyche, psyche, psyche!
Mr. Burns: "A show about a doll?? Why not write a musical about the common cat? Or the king of Siam? [sarcastic] Give it up, Smithers."
Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
Nelson: [brandishes his fist at Goulet] Your manager tells you to SHUT UP!
Goulet: Vera said that?
Homer: [talking on a phone] Hello, police, can you send a S.W.A.T. team to 742 Evergreen--
Officer Wiggum: Forget it, Simpson! Those pig noises you made really hurt my feelings... looking like a pig as I do.
Homer: But you have so much inner beauty.
Officer Wiggum: Well, um, be that as it may, um, the gang is wanted in eight other states and we have a little saying around here: "Let Michigan handle it".
Bart: Dad, how did you ever get a woman like mom to stay with you?

Homer: Look in the mirror, unplanned miracle!
I got a bratty brother,
He bugs me every day.
And this morning my own mother,
She gave my last cupcake away.
My dad acts like he belongs,
He belongs in the zoo.
I'm the saddest kid in grade number two.
:homersmiley:: Okay, sweetie, I got a story about another little girl who got lost in the woods, but it wasn't a girl, and it wasn't the woods.
:maggiesmiley:: [sucks her pacifier]
:homersmiley:: Suck suck indeed! And it all happened once upon a time, before you were born, and my chances for a man cave went out the window.
Marge: Whatever happened to town pride?

Lisa: It's been going downhill ever since the lake caught fire.
:lisasmiley: -[At the outlet stores] Look at all these monstrosities.
:homersmiley: -Honey, what did I tell you about worshiping our corporate overlords?
Moe: The Flaming Moe is not for sale. Do you know how much of my blood and sweat are in this drink? [everyone in the tavern spits out their drinks] Uh, figure of speech.
Hi, I’m actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such films as “‘P’ is for Psycho” and “The President’s Neck is Missing”.
Homer: Marge, it was horrible. Everyone was against me in that jury room, but I stood by the courage of my convictions and I prevailed, and that's why we had Chinese food for lunch.
Comic Book Guy: Why does he do in defeat what I do in victory?