1010011010’s October 2022 Discord Reviews Dump
Ranked:
GOAT: The Fly (1986), The Thing (1982), Psycho, Suspiria
Great: Vertigo, Audition, Shadow of a Doubt
Good: Poltergeist, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), Misery, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Nosferatu, Sweeny Todd, Mothra vs. Godzilla, Coraline
Decent: Corpse Bride, The Student of Prague, An American Werewolf in London, Old, The Thing From Another World, Godzilla (1954), We’re All Going to the World’s Fair
Mediocre: Last Night in Soho, Malignant, Soul Collector, Hocus Pocus 2, Godzilla vs. Kong (2021), Puppet Master
Bad: Wicked City, The Mummy (1932), Monster Mash
1. Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (Burton, 2007) – An adaption of Sondheim & Wheeler’s 1979 musical. Johnny Depp plays Mr. T, a barber that begins killing people in his barbershop after coming back to find Judge Alan Rickman drove his wife to suicide, and plans to elope with his daughter whom he has adopted. I have no idea how the original musical compares, but the material seems too perfect for a Burton film. I loved the twisted one sided relationship formed between Mr. T and Mrs. Lovett, the twisted premise and tone, the amazing songs (Pretty Women definitely my favorite), the massive shots of blood every time someone is cut, just everything I’d expect from an enjoyable Tim Burton film. Being an adaption of a three hour musical, you can tell things were cut. Johanna/Anthony don’t really get much development or even feel resolved at the end. Judge Tarkin they really should’ve done more with, he kind of disappears for most of the 2nd half. There was apparently a break in production due to Depp’s daughter being sick that cut out a few more scenes. A few undercooked elements, but still a pretty enjoyable adaption and introduction to this wonderfully twisted musical.
2. Nosferatu (Murnau, 1922) – The earliest surviving film based on Bram Stoker’s Dracula. A loose adaption on the plot (using different names for the characters due to not being officially licensed), a man named Hutter attempts to sell a house to Count Orlok, but after finding out he’s a vampire, Hutter races the vampire back to his hometown before Orlok can eat his wife Ellen. What makes the film for me is Orlok’s appearance. The small bulging eyes, bald head, pointed ears atop a tall stilted body. It’s a memorable interpretation that comes across as both legitimately unnerving when peering from the darkness, and hilarious when you see him lugging around his coffin across Ellen’s front lawn. I can easily see how viewers in the 1920’s would’ve been scared by this film, this slow shadowy creature causing a plague of destruction that isn’t very exaggerated in its depiction. A shot of rows of coffins being carried, an entire ship crew that seems to die more from his sheer presence in the shadows than direct action. Topping off all of this is the ending, that iconic image of his shadow creeping up the stairs and washing over Ellen, before finally succumbing to death by sunlight. The version I watched used a soundtrack based on (what remains) of Hans Erdmann’s original score. I would’ve enjoyed the film more without it, it was okay, but I wanted to watch a version closest to the films original presentation. Which I messed up anyway as I didn’t know until after I saw this that the og version used color tinting, which would’ve been helpful, eliminating a little confusion I had whether a scene was at day or night. Count Orlok will be remembered by this generation mostly as a SpongeBob gag, but hopefully more will also check out the classic film he was taken from.
3. We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (Schoenbrun, 2021) – A very low budget indie film made during the pandemic. A teenage girl uploads vlogs of herself online, most of which relating to a viral challenge called “We’re All Going to the World’s Fair”, which seems to involve saying the phrase 3 times, self harming yourself, then posting about any physical/psychological effects as they repeat this. Outside of YouTube videos of people doing the challenge, there are only really two characters in the film. Anna Cobb as Casey takes up the majority of time on-screen, doing a great job keeping my attention as this awkward, mentally ill teenager. The film would not have worked without a performance as spot on and captivating as hers. The Fair challenge seems to be entirely in the challenger’s head, although 1 scene didn’t really keep that ambiguity clear. The nonbinary director stated they wanted to capture that hard to capture feeling of dysphoria, the “constant feeling of unreality, one cut with an ambient sense of shame”.
What the film definitely resonates is loneliness. Both Casey and the middle aged man she Skype’s are only ever seen talking to themselves on their digital devices in their empty houses and neighborhoods. For someone who spends a lot of time online, I can relate to Casey talking and entertaining themselves alone in front of a blank screen, driving themselves to near insanity, not sure if they’re still playing pretend or have truly gone mad. I appreciate the idea and the tone it conveys, but I can’t say I loved it. The drawn out shots and lack of narrative clarity come across more as inexperience by the director rather than a statement being made. Is there supposed to be a deeper meaning behind the ending speech or the ticket scene, or am I just wishing this film about a girl posting vlogs had more of a clear point? The film definitely isn’t for everyone, the opening making one expect a psychological thriller, but mostly abandoning its horror traits by the 2nd half to be an experimental late Gen Z coming of age film. I enjoyed the representation of a current day Internet bound teenager, but I can’t help but feel disappointed by it often not going anywhere with the points it establishes.
4. The Fly (Cronenberg, 1986) – This was the first film I’ve seen in a while that stayed in my head several days after watching it. The makeup and prosthetic visuals of Goldblum’s gradual transformation into the fly are gorgeously disgusting, but what made the film especially stick was how attached I ended up feeling to its lead characters. There isn’t that much time shown between Ronnie and Seth, yet you completely believe her love for him and why she would never abandon him, even at the very end. Brundle too is very sympathetic, possibly Jeff Goldblum’s best performance on film, running all the emotions felt by this awkward scientist, his humanity barely able to survive against his slow, unavoidable evolution. The film excels at its tragic elements. The reactions to Ronnie being pregnant (very glad none of the resolution scenes they filmed were used), that ending scene, I actually cried watching the ending. Cronenberg wanted the transformation to be analogous to terminal conditions like cancer, with many critics at the time seeing it as a metaphor for AIDS. A viewer that has experienced seeing a loved one suffer through a slow unavoidable condition can relate hard to the emotions this story portrays. A genuine tragedy told with great practical effects and humor. Fantastic movie.
5. Godzilla (1954, Honda) – An okay monster movie elevated by its central premise around the fear and politics of post WWII Japan. When the film focuses on the aftermath of Godzilla’s destruction, it is haunting. The bodies of injured/dead civilians crowding a room, a massive choir of children somberly singing in memorial, the image of the city completely engulfed in fire. The commentary made towards nuclear weapons and government was simple, but held truth. A few memorable characters, but none with any particular depth, which I wouldn’t necessarily mind if the ending didn’t seem to rely on having an emotional response towards the scientist’s sacrifice. A shame Godzilla doesn’t appear that much, but his one big scene of destroying the town was pretty fun. Yes it’s obvious he’s destroying cardboard and toy cars, but that didn’t take away from my immersion and enjoyment. Hesitate to call this a good film, but it had its moments, and most certainly deserves its spot in film history.
6. Old (2021, Shyamalan) – Just as hilariously bad as critics said it was. A group of people at a resort are led to a beach for the day, but find out that the beach is rapidly aging them, and must find a way to escape the apparent forcefield knocking out anyone trying to leave. Where do I begin? The cinematography, that consists mostly of unnecessary 360 panning shots and awkward close ups, whole scenes of dialogue where the focus is more on the characters ear than their facial performance? The actors confused, stilted performances, who bring so many unintentional laughs from the writing of these comically one dimensional characters? Not since The Snowman can I think of a major release so baffling in its execution. It’s a shame this great premise couldn’t receive a competent adaption, but I can’t pretend I wasn’t thoroughly entertained by this. Nearly every other line, shot, and action I could make a joke out of. I haven’t actually seen any Shyamalan films outside of The Sixth Sense, but now I totally want to. If you haven’t seen this, please do, you’ll have a blast.
7. Corpse Bride (2005, Johnson & Burton) – Not quite on the same level as the more well known horror themed stop motion kids films (Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline, Frankenweenie), but still has its share of charm. Two young adults from 19th century aristocratic households are arranged to be married. While practicing his vows in the woods, the man accidentally proposes to the corpse of a woman that died there, and has to decide while in the land of the dead whether to stay with her or return to his living bride. It’s really unfair to compare everything directly to Nightmare Before Christmas, but my mind just couldn’t help thinking back to it, this film sharing a lot of the same style/beats/jokes. Like Christmas, the stop motion here is very nice to look at, with plenty of fun creative Burton designs. Occasionally there is a pretty good joke, though there were also a few misses. The main characters are fairly bland, I kept expecting something more to be said about the groom knowing these two brides for maybe a few minutes and them suddenly saying they love each other, but nothing deeper is gone into there. The Danny Elfman songs are fine, just didn’t find any of them particularly memorable, except for Remains of the Dead, you can’t go wrong with skeletons scatting/dancing to a big jazz band number. If you’ve seen the previous stop motion films I mentioned, you won’t really get anything new from this, but if you’re looking to just experience more of this genre of animated features, this still has the charm of those films, and will still certainly put you in the Halloween mood,
8. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984, Craven) - Teenagers are haunted/killed by a dream monster named Freddie Kruger, who wants revenge on the parents who burned him alive years ago. The reality bending effects with the dream world/Freddie are few but great, simple ones like using a sheet of spandex to make Freddie bend through a wall, to the death scenes, from the initial girl being bloodily dragged across the ceiling, to the massive waterfall of blood shooting out of Johnny Depp’s bed. Freddie isn’t necessarily funny here, but he has a fun psychotic personality that certainly makes him stand out from silent faceless slashers like Jason or Myers. Not really sure what to make of the ending, whether just part of or the whole night was just a dream. I read a little about the ending being forced by the studio, originally Craven wanted the whole film to be a dream and for Nancy to just wake up with everyone alive. It’s a bit nonsensical, though I enjoyed Nancy’s confrontation with Freddie, beating him with Home Alone traps while screaming at the top of her lungs. Cool villain/premise + middling teenagers + 80’s rock/synth soundtrack = classic slasher film.
9. Shadow of a Doubt (1943, Hitchcock) – The only Hitchcock works I’ve previously seen are The Birds and some of Presents. Time to change that. A young woman named Charloette lives with her typical suburban family. One day her Uncle Charlie comes to stay, who she gradually learns is a serial killer, and must find a way to get him out of her family's life. Between Charlie and the two detectives trying to convict him, Charloette is almost entirely at the mercy of these men that entered her life. There’s plenty to read into as commentary at the time on the idealized upper middle class female and American family, mainly through Charlie’s treatment of Charloette, calling her blissfully ignorant of the horrors of the world, this represented by a hypnotizing endless loop of couples waltzing referred to several times. The relationship formed between Charloette and the detective is oddly underdeveloped, mostly formed offscreen, despite being an important point that would’ve added more to Charloette’s conflict with Charlie. The film offers plenty of memorable quirky characters, the father and his friend always talking about ways to murder each other just for fun, the younger daughter being an overly talkative stilted bookworm. Just a well told narrative of a woman trapped in a situation with no easy answers.
10. Vertigo (1958, Hitchcock) - A film I think I’ll appreciate more on future viewings. A retired detective takes on one last job, to spy on his friend’s seemingly mentally disturbed wife, and in the process the detective and wife fall in love. I adored the atmospheric moments of the film. The long wordless sequence of Scottie following Madeline across gorgeous shots of San Francisco to Bernard Hermann’s score, Scottie’s incredibly surreal nightmare depicting his damaged psyche, the 360 kiss scene. I love the depiction of Scottie’s breakdown in the third act and the idea behind his odd relationship with Judy. Some of the more far-fetched aspects of the mystery/story still bother me some, but I could generally ignore them in service of the larger focus on the characters complicated romance and incredible direction. Well, minus the final scene, that just felt too silly to me.
11. Psycho (1960, Hitchcock) - What I would give to be able to watch this completely blind, to not already know the shower scene and twist ending from parodies/references in pop culture. One thing I’m thankful to not have known was when the shower scene occurred. It happens only around the halfway mark, and seeing that complete shift in the story was hilarious and incredible. After nearly 50 minutes of almost exclusively following Marion’s thoughts and actions, becoming completely invested in Janet Leigh’s performance, the film just suddenly becomes about Norman Bates. I love the pan after the shower scene to the money Marion stole, this important plot device just completely stripped of its purpose being emphasized right after that moment. The film definitely pushes a lot for 1960 with some pretty explicit death scenes (also apparently the first mainstream American film to show a toilet, or at least being flushed). A classic through and through, both the first half’s depiction of Marion’s paranoia and guilt, and the second half around this unstable yet still somehow sympathetic man trying to protect his mother. Great score, great story, excellent film.
12. Puppet Master (1989, Schmoeller) – Four quirky psychics are led to a hotel where puppets kill them. A direct to video film with a $400,000 budget, the puppet work is pretty decent, occasionally animated with stop motion, and all given memorable designs. The plot and dialogue are complete nonsense. The first half is especially dull, 1 or 2 funny lines from just the poor delivery by the actors, but there is no reason given to care about any of these characters. The 2nd half is kind of fun with the psychics dying in pretty quick succession, some gruesome looking deaths utilizing the puppets different designs. I enjoyed the long first person shots of the puppets running, even though it emphasized how not scary these things are, just wanted to kick em across the room. I can see why this was a cult classic (not so much spawning a 14 film franchise), but I found too much of it dull to recommend, especially that first half. Though when it finally does get to the puppets, it does its job as a stupid slasher film, showing dumb poorly acted/written characters being killed by cool enough looking puppets.
13. Monster Mash (1999, Manuli) - It was a piece of trash. An Italian-American production from DIC. At the turn of the millennium, Dracula/Frankenstein/Wolf Man aren’t considered scary anymore, and are ordered by the Superior Court of Horrors to scare one family by midnight, or they’ll be...forced to entertain birthday parties forever. I went into this hoping for the Halloween equivalent of Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer, but where as that had some coherence and funny lines, this made no sense and filled the majority of its run time with poor slapstick and confusing non-jokes/pop culture references. The monster trio are shown to be famous rock stars, but they’re also wash ups that do sketches for Letterman? Do they care about being seen as scary? Why does this realm of monsters want to scare humans anyway? The Monster Mash doesn’t even come into the plot at all, it’s just played at the beginning and the end, during the monsters glory days. What, you couldn’t come up with 60 minutes of material around Dracula throwing a party? The one thing I liked was the basic concept of 80’s thriller monsters being mad at the classic monsters for not being scary anymore, but nothing is said beyond that, the 80’s monsters just try to stop them in the end, and aren’t considered scary anymore when the classics become famous again. Also the Jason Vorhees expy is made of spaghetti for some reason, and thats emphasized alot in calling them not scary? And some bullshit about them not having heart like the old monsters had.
I watched this on YouTube, a recording of it that aired on The WB (October 17th, 1999, though the special wasn’t released on video until 2000, 2003 for Italy). I switched to that after 10 minutes of watching a version on Pluto TV, which I happened to notice was missing lines the YT version had. At least the commercial breaks gave me that nostalgia hit I wanted, along with the “Hey Vern, It’s Ernest” episode that aired afterward. The special itself is just a reminder of the most mediocre/terrible cartoons of that era. If you want an animated take on the classic monsters, watch Hotel Transylvania. Or…I dunno, Scooby Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf. Forget about this.
14. Audition (1999, Miike) – A Japanese film from the same production company that funded Ring. Years after losing his wife, a man sets up phony auditions for a movie, using this screening process to find the perfect woman. Shigiharu eventually finds someone he likes and the two fall in love, only for him to be taken a back as he slowly learns of her dark past. A slow burn that more than pays off with its last third, which begins with this fantastic dream sequence representing all of this woman’s physical and sexual abuse, along with recontextualizing almost every element previously shown in the film in a masterfully crafted sequence. Then in brilliant contrast following this dream is an excruciating torture scene back in reality. You don’t see much of the torture on screen, but the sound design and crawling pace of it makes you feel every bit of pain Shigiharu is given. The gradual shift from light romantic film to full on psychological horror was shocking and impressive. A critique of the romance genre with an amazing pay off. Kiri kiri kiri.
15. The Soul Collector/8 (2019, Holscher) - South African production. A couple and their adopted daughter go to live at a farm in the middle of Africa. The daughter befriends a man named Lazarus, a former farm hand who can talk to the dead, who is secretly feeding souls to a demon in order to resurrect his dead daughter. Story and characters were fairly standard. I enjoyed the relationship and spiritual discussions between the daughter and Lazarus. The concept and visuals for the ending were great, though it does tact on a fairly unnecessary final scene twist. There were multiple scenes of characters speaking Tswana, which the version I saw on Tubi didn’t subtitle...minus a single scene in the middle of the film. If that was a deliberate choice for English audiences, the story was still understandable without it, but I did feel I lost a lot of depth for the village characters. There are a few half attempts at jump scares that fail, but the film didn’t seem interested in being scary, moreso letting its concept and characters unfold, which have a few moments of intrigue, but could’ve gone farther with them. Simply told, decent film.
16. Suspiria (1977, Argento) - A young American Woman named Suzy travels to a prestigious dance academy in Italy, where supernatural events and mysterious killings start to occur. When I think of this film, I think color. When I wasn’t admiring the textures and colors of the building, my eyes were basking in the constant usage of tinted red/blue/yellow lights over shadows. The plot is of a typical slasher film, but purposefully told in the most cliff notes fashion. Characters like the bitchy rival and love interest are given introduction scenes that lead you to think they’ll be important, but then they’re just background characters for the rest of the movie. Though what little time each characters is given is made the most of by everyones fantastic acting, characters like the blind man and the teaching staff made instantly memorable from their performances. But the story is not at all the focus here. The film is an excuse to suck viewers into the otherworldly atmosphere created by Argento’s visuals and direction, the brilliant colors, shadows, wide angle distortion, combined with an extremely catchy track I can best describe as a combo of medieval strumming, droning synth, and demonic chanting. A basic slasher story turned into a visual work of art, a pure display of gorgeous cinematography and color you just have to admire.
17. Wicked city (1987, Kawajiri) – Japanese animated film. In a world where demons exist, a guard that keeps peace between the demon and human realms is hired alongside a female from the black world to protect a pervy old man that is supposed to renew a treaty between the two sides. The most noteworthy aspect is the sheer amount of sexual content shown. The female character Makie being stripped and fucked three times in the film, each one pretty long and graphic, having her boobs squeezed by tentacles, made to suck someone off. It’s shocking and unnecessary, I was just bored by it. The world isn’t explored much, you never really see the black world, just a handful of demons trying to stop them. I could only find the English Dub of this. It seemed competent enough, just a few flat/weird lines. Maybe a lot of details were left out in translation, but I can’t imagine anything would’ve saved what was shown here. There are some nice shots and well directed action, it has that late 80’s anime atmosphere, but you can find that in dozens of other better anime sci-fi films, ones that actually care to show its world and develop its stock characters. And not have two minutes of tentacle rape.
18. The Student of Prague (1913, Rye) - A poor college student named Balduin is offered 100,000 pieces of gold by an old man in exchange for 1 item in his room, which turns out to be his very reflection, unleashing a doppleganger of himself into the world. The film is very sparse with its narrative/title cards. I understood the general plot, but a lot of details seemed difficult to read without a second watch/reading a summary afterwards. The use of double exposure to have Paul Wegener as both Balduin and his doppleganger on screen is pretty damn seamless for the time. The majority of the film is flat/single shots of a room or location, but there are sections of interest such as Balduin running through the town, early demonstrations of chiaroscuro that would be advanced upon by films like The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. An impressive effort for one of the earliest feature length films, laying much of the framework for the German Expressionist movement in cinema soon to follow.
19. The Mummy (1932, Freund) - Archeologists stumble upon a cursed scroll that revives The Mummy, who falls in love with a woman that he believes to be the reincarnation of an Egyptian princess, attempting to resurrect the princess through her body. A “people flatly exposit story while sitting in rooms” movie. The central conflict of the second half revolves around Helen and Franks romance, which consists of a 2 minute scene of Frank first meeting/hitting on Helen for a kiss, but they call it love. Uh...I liked the guy in the opening clipping the mic from laughing himself insane at seeing The Mummy. The pool flashback scene of Imhotep being wrapped at least tried to give some ancient Egyptian visuals. The Mummy just wasn’t an interesting monster. He has the power to control peoples minds, well one person, if they’re close enough. He doesn’t even wear the bandages after the opening scene, you’re just watching a guy with vague magical powers trying to steal a woman. Then God just kills him, the end. A pretty lame movie with a weak romance and flat visuals.
20. Mothra vs Godzilla (1964) - Released ten years after the original film, the fourth Godzilla film offers a fun popcorn movie with an easy to follow plot, simple identifiable characters, and great fun action pieces. A businessman claims a giant egg found on the beach, but two small fairies appear wanting to give it back to its mother Mothra, getting a team of newsreporters to help them. Then Godzilla suddenly wakes up, and the newsreporters travel to the fairies island to beg for Mothra’s help. Godzilla’s fights with Mothra and the larva are hilarious. The amount of close ups/camera trickery, sometimes outright looking like a kid mashing his toys together, the speed ups in time, they’re highly enjoyable, ridiculous looking scenes. The sets during the rampage sequence were pretty believable looking, also giving us a great visual of Godzilla partly catching on fire, an unintentional effect on set that was pretty awesome to see. Mothra isn’t as fluffy af looking as they were in the 90’s version, but this film I found more engaging with its story and fight scenes. Fun movie.
21. An American Werewolf in London (1981, Landis) – While sight seeing the UK, two 20-something year old American guys are attacked by a werewolf, killing one, and cursing the other into becoming a werewolf during a full moon. The transformation sequence of David into the werewolf was worth the watch alone, fantastically crafted horrific sequence. Loved the idea of the victims spirits being trapped inside the werewolf, the way Jack’s body decayed further each time he was shown, definitely worthy of its Academy Award in makeup. There are a few great jokes, most of which in the second half, but I felt it needed to have more in order to overlook its very underdeveloped story. The ending almost got me to forgive it, holy fuck was that abrupt ending funny, but the insipid romance and lack of interest in its concepts just dragged parts of this to much for me to love this. The Americans weren’t great actors, but had a very likable, believable chemistry on-screen. A few memorable lines, some fantastic effects, an enjoyable film overall, but it needed more put into its humor and or story to call it great.
22. The Thing From Another World (1951, Nyby/Hawkes) – Based in the arctic, a crew from the US Air Force find an alien creature frozen in the ice, which they must defend against after it breaks from its captivity. The acting style in films like this, each line enunciated, often talking over each other, I could appreciate for how subtle it made a lot of the jokes amid the constant flow of dialogue, and giving a more realistic vibe to how a competent crew would act in this situation. But it also made it difficult to connect with any of the characters or really invest in the plot when everyone sounds/acts essentially the same. The flat nature of the human scenes do make the few scenes with The Thing especially stand out. Its first two appearances are so sudden, the scene where its set on fire escalates and ends in less than a minute, the fear felt by the crew immediately coming through while the viewer can barely make out what The Thing looks like amid the chaos. I wish its final scene didn’t ruin that effect, where its just standing in a hallway, the film giving plenty of time to judge how it looks like an off-brand Frankenstein. It’s a pretty good sci-fi film from that era, just found it too dry personally.
23. The Thing (1982, Carpenter) – Brilliant. I can’t think of a single flaw with the way this story was presented, I was enthralled from start to finish. From a decade filled to the brim with top tier practical effects, this stands at the peak with the sheer volume of designs it shows off, each design so creative, disgusting, and unique from one another in perfectly eliciting the mystery and terror of this alien creature. The viewer is kept just as paranoid as the crew regarding who is or isn’t an alien clone, a crew of memorably acted characters trapped in this arctic base, fighting something they don’t understand, and likely have no chance of defeating. The only complaint I have is not watching this sooner, this absolutely deserves to be ranked alongside household classics like Alien or Terminator, with impeccable storytelling, themes, and effects. One of the best film’s I have ever seen.
24. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992, Coppola) – Romanian man locks Keanu Reeves with three women so he can cuck his fiancee. Beautifully shot, a lot of great unique visuals from the frequent compositing of shots, you really feel like you’re part of the dreamlike madness created by Dracula’s hypnotizing presence. Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing was excellent casting, giving the biggest laughs in the film while still commanding an authoritative role. Narrative is pretty scattered, told through letter and diary entries between several characters, which is trying to match the storytelling of the original novel, but made it hard to really invest in any one character or story. Kind of weak narrative with some odd moments, but visually spectacular with a pretty memorable Dracula.
25. Poltergeist (1982, Hooper) - A 5 year old begins communicating with a spirit in her family’s suburban home. Its presence quickly becomes more apparent, causing danger and eventually sucking the daughter into its realm, which the family must rescue her from. Yet another PG rated 1980’s classic, a typical but likable family unit you want to root for, a cool premise that leads to plenty of memorable moments, and 1-2 legitimately unnerving scenes that a PG film definitely couldn’t get away with now (the face tearing scene would’ve def given me nightmares as a kid. The wife coming across the corpses was also pushing it). A simple, highly enjoyable movie. (and yes I did keep thinking about Petergeist the entire time watching it)
26. Misery (1990, Reiner) – After injuring his legs in a car crash, a famous author is saved by a super fan of his books, the author being taken care of, then quickly held hostage at the mercy of the fan’s insanity. Letting a simple premise play out is sometimes all you need for a great horror story. Kathy Bates absolutely earned her best actress Oscar for this, perfectly playing this psychopath that can change moods on a dime, always leaving your anxious if she’s being oblivious or knows exactly what Cann is planning. My only wish was that scenes with the Sheriff and his wife were cut. The characters are a little charming I suppose, but I didn’t need to see the Sheriff reading all of Paul’s books, and suspecting Annie from her saying a quote from one of the novels. If it played more like Gerald’s Game, told completely from Paul’s perspective, the film would’ve worked just as well, if not scarier, with the tension of not knowing if anyone was looking for him. A good adaption with great performances of this nightmare scenario.
27. Coraline (2009, Selick) – Stop motion animated film. Tired of being ignored by her parents, a girl stumbles upon a secret room that leads to the other world, where alternate versions of her parents give her the attention and excitement she always wanted, until she discovers the dark truth behind the world. Ranking this with the other stop motion films of this nature, I enjoyed this more than Corpse Bride, but don’t know if I’d put it at the same level as Nightmare Before Christmas or Frankenweenie. Part of that might be me not really getting into any of the side characters. Visually though this might be one of my favorites, the vibrant cold colors of the other world, excellently animated sequences like the flower garden and the rat circus. I also liked the slower build this film’s story had before getting into the darker elements, and the slightly mean spirited nature of Coraline herself. Another charming, visually pleasing stop motion kids film.
28. Malignant (2021, Wan) – A woman begins having visions of a creature that is killing doctors around the city, a creature that is somehow tied to her repressed childhood. I enjoyed the third act, the twist genuinely got me, and it was fun watching the film lean more into its ridiculous side with the police station fight and climax. The rest of the film was okay, I was fairly invested in the story, and liked the CGI visuals during the monster sequences, but it was drug down by some pretty weak dialogue, plot threads that go absolutely nowhere (that brief romance between the asian cop and the sister), cliché music stings. Why is this creature able to take out rooms of people, but had to run away from a single cop chasing him? And why can it absorb/talk through electricity? It gets dumber the more I think about it, but I mostly enjoyed it. An 80’s B movie story made with a modern major studio budget.
29. Last Night in Soho (2021, Wright) – A fashion student moves to London, where she begins to have visions of life in the 1960’s, becoming engorged then haunted as these two lives collide. Sometimes a film can succeed on its visuals alone. This film almost manages that, but the story needed just a little more to give those visuals some meaning. The film is gorgeously produced, the colors, the complex dolly shots, the effortless switches between Ellie and Sandy in the 60’s scenes. I was able to get lost in these visuals most of the time, but several times, I was just thinking “why is this happening”? There’s a scene of Sandy dancing with a guy that constantly switches her and Ellies places, which is impressive to see, but what am I supposed to take away from this, Ellie just got here? There’s a long scene in the 2nd half of Ellie being chased through London by massive crowds of men from the 60’s, which again looks cool, but there’s not much to read besides she’s either going crazy/is being haunted (this scene is made even worse with the ending twist, giving no reason to them scaring the shit out of her here). I like a lot of themes its trying to convey, the comparisons made between the 1960’s vs. present day, how show business can consume a person, specifically for a young woman. There just wasn’t enough depth given to any of them. Just a little more needed to be made to give the visuals the impact they’re clearly trying to convey. Also would’ve made the shallowness of its characters much more bearable (the cliché bullies, the boyfriend, the pimp). Visually spectacular, but too weak in its story and characters to fully enjoy them.
30. Godzilla vs. Kong (2021, Wingard) - Sometimes its nice to just watch some modern shlock, to see what $200 million looks like on the big screen. Godzilla has killed all the other titans on Earth, the only one left being Kong. To fight the enraged Godzilla, a rich man has devised scientists to use Kong so they can go to the center of the Earth where titans were born to find the source of their power. The plot is convoluted garbage, all you need to know is “evil rich man wants power, Kong/other humans have to stop him”. I haven’t seen the previous three movies of this universe, but I can’t imagine it would’ve made things like “Kong finding a giant glowing axe he powers up in a glowing circle” or “Godzilla hyper beaming into the center of the Earth” seem less dumb. The characters are generic and or annoying, but are off screen just enough to tolerate in between the monster scenes. Though the freedom fighters Michael Bay Transformers esque jokes/banter started to push it. The focal points are the two Godzilla v. Kong fights, which are really nice to look at, especially the second one set at night in neon Hong Kong. If you just want to see big budget CGI blockbuster fights, this will deliver, just know to turn your brain off before viewing.
31. Hocus Pocus 2 (2022, Fletcher) – I began last years October watch with the original, I saw it fitting to end this years with the sequel. I have a soft spot for this kind of kids movie/Disney Channel humor and tone, thats why I enjoyed the first one, and don’t hate this one. The only reason to watch this is if you liked the first movie and really want to see Midler/Parker/Najimy as the Sanderson sisters again. Those three still have great chemistry and energy as those characters. Even when doing repeats of jokes from the original, or stupid things like spending five minutes in a Walgreens commercial eating face cream, or Najimy riding two roombas instead of a broomstick, I couldn’t help but smile at their antics. Outside of them, its a typical “soft reboot sequel,” copying a lot of the same beats of the original movie, but doing them slightly worse. Teenagers release the sisters and have to stop them, Doug Jones as Billy the Zombie again helps in stopping them, Mildler’s singing causes a big dance number that hypnotizes the town. The main teenagers in this are dull, even moreso than the first movie, the conflict they have between each other is so weak and uninteresting to follow. When the high of seeing the sisters again wears off, you’re left with a toothless retread whose most memorable trait is Tony Hale being mad he couldn’t get a caramel apple. Not terrible, I had some enjoyment watching it, but its a very forgettable affair.
