Funny things that Grampa Simpson did.

Maxxmuscle

Oh Apu Scratch and Win
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What is the funniest thing that Grampa Simpson did? I liked when
he told Homer as a kid when he wanted to be president,QUIT YOUR DAY
DREAMING MELON HEAD.
 
One of his best moments IMO is in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"

Burns: Oh, Simpson, can't you go five seconds without humiliating yourself?
[Abe's pants go down with a "boing"]
Abe: How long was that?
 
he finds a way to make me laugh every appearance. best character ever. i mostly love when he does the long speech in last exit
 
"Son your ugly as an ox and just as dumb,when someone offers you something I say take it!"

I know those are not the exact words but I liked it a lot when he said that.

I also really liked

"BITCH,BITCH,BITCH!"
 
High Voltage said:
"Son your ugly as an ox and just as dumb,when someone offers you something I say take it!"

I know those are not the exact words but I liked it a lot when he said that.

actually its "son your as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly,if a strange man ever offers you a ride i say take it!"

not trying to be mean but ya..thats what he said ;)
 
ReNeGaDeSiMpSoN said:


actually its "son your as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly,if a strange man ever offers you a ride i say take it!"

not trying to be mean but ya..thats what he said ;)

Yeah I could not remember exactly what it was,thank you for correcting me.
 
3 things said so far I really like:
1. The LETS speech
2. Dumb as a mule...
3. the bitch thing
 
All of Grampas long speeches are comedy gold but I'd have to say the funniest thing he did was in Lady Bouvier's Lover when he gives Maggies birthday present to a black guy across the street.
 
Dear Advertisers,
I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television.
We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again. Number one: Bra. Number two: Horny. Number three: Family Jewels.
 
-Tricking Bart and Lisa into cleaning up the house in Blood Feud :P
-Playing Old Man Winter in Mr. Plow's commercial
-His letter in Bart the General
 
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"We've got to kill the boy!"
"How did you know he was a vampire?"
"He's a vampire? Ahhhhhhhh!!"

GREATNESS!!
 
When Homer's mother asks Abe if he thinks (little) Homer is cute.
"Yeah, probably." (just the way he said it was really funny).

"Seeeex, what's so bad about your old man talking about seeex?!"

and

"If you cheapskate me into hell I'll haunt ya good..Imagine THIS when you're sitting on the john!" *makes annoying noises*
 
"its cold and there are wolfs after me" thats a classic And the whole episode of 'the war of the simpsons'
 
His classic ramblings and any time an animal gets a hold of his teeth(turtle, dog, gator).
 
Oh I just thought of one "Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three -- medium brown." Hilarious!
 
When he's supposed to be babysitting Bart and Lisa, but is at the Flanders house with Rod and Todd. ("Natural Born Kissers", was it?)

GRAMPA: Now it's you're turn Bart.
ROD: I'm not Bart, I'm Rod.
GRAMPA: There you go with that smartmouth! Lisa, run outside and cut me a switch!
(Todd runs outside.)


Here's something that resembles the LETS speech, in case anyone cares to read it.
"Let me tell you about the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. 'Give me five bees for a quarter', you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah...the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war; the only thing you could get was those big yellow ones."
 
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Grampa is certainly the best character, here are two of my favorites (im actually surprised no one posted those yet)...

The first was in Who Shot Mr Burns part 2 I think...

"You never know what you can do, I never tought I could shoot down a german plane... But last year I discovered i was wrong..."

This other I dont remember the episode but he is talking about death with Lisa (or is it Bart havent seen the episode in a long time)...

"When you are at my age death is after you behind every corner you never know when it will show up.... AHHH There it is... *points at the dog*

No Grampa its just the dog...

As I was saying... AHHH there it is... *points at Maggie*

No Grampa its Maggie...

Well dea... AHHH there it is... *points at the dog*

Its the dog, again..."

Later in the episode he appears in the back of a scene pointing at a bird and screaming... Pure classic...

Well as I said before I havent seen those episodes in a long time, this is the way I remember those phrases but its probably quite different...
 
I like this moment from Abe Simpson.
Abe:Comein May day I'm losing your transition.
Customer yelling from window at Krusty Burger:I SAID FRENCH FRIES!
Abe: Do we sell french? fries?
This was from Lisa vs MS.
 
Theatre Manager: "Don't have a heart attack old dude..."
Grampa: "Don't....you tell...me what...to do you...young...Whipper...Snapper!!!" *collapses*
 
Funny things Grampa did:

-Said "Make friends with a chinese man. (Chinese man says to Grampa 'Mr. Simpson, you're not supposed to leave the house'). Thank you Ping-Pong."
-Doing the air fiddle
-During slow-motion scene leading up to Homer's bowling 300, Abe shouts "Yaeeyay" and moves slowly like everyone else. Camera zooms out and we realize that the show has resumed at normal speed but it is just Abe that is slow.
-Shouting and raising his fist at a cloud.
-Watching a picture of Homer and Bart play boxing, and yelling "Finish Him!"
 
"I Spent 3 Years on that Turlet"

- 'Old Man Yells At Cloud' Headline
- Flying Hellfish Ep (everything)
- His long speeches, such as his 'Dickety / Turlet' one:
"Now, my story begins in 19-Dickety-Two. We had to say Dickety cause the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that Rascal to get it back, but stopped after dickety-six miles...."
- The 'Funky Grampa'Dance
 
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