Funny things that Grampa Simpson did.

[Old Sam]

Dammit, my Leonard Shelby syndrome has undergone a relapse. First the Lady2Hotty trick, and now this .

SP, say it ain't so...oh well, sparkster doesn't take the throne. If he can beat SP a few more times maybe.

(Beep)

 

[FrankysteinMark II]

"Three wars back we called sauercraut liberty cabbage, and we called liberty cabbage superslaw. And back then a suitcase was known as a Swedish lunchbox. Of course nobody knew that but me. Anyway, 'Long Story Short' is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling..."

 

[Carbito]

I like when he is asked about Homer in the episode when Homer is in command of the sub.

"My son is not a communist he may be a..........and a communist but he is not a porn star!" (I forget what other things he says)

 

[Big Fat Dynamo]

I am not a crackpot!

 

[Miss Springfield]

Shary Bobbins : "As your nanny I will do everything from changing diapers to reading stories"

Grampa: "Put me down for one of each!"

And he did something funny with the family at Discount Lion Safari as well. Can't remember. Then there was the time he made up the story about posing as a chorus girl in WW2 and saying he wore a dress for a period in the 40's, which is also disturbing.

 

[4Ever29]

My favorite:
Grandpa: Well, I'm heading to the outhouse. (gets up and leaves)

Lisa: We don't have an outhouse.

Homer: AAHH!! My toolshed!!!

Later, you see homer hosing out his toolshed with a not pleased look on his face.

 

[ChunkyLover53]

His long rambling speech in Last Exit To Springfield was my funniest.

Does anyone know where I can find that on the internet?

 

[ChunkyLover53]

Anyone?

 

[Maxxmuscle]

Shary Bobbins : "As your nanny I will do everything from changing diapers to reading stories"

Grampa: "Put me down for one of each!"

And he did something funny with the family at Discount Lion Safari as well. Can't remember. Then there was the time he made up the story about posing as a chorus girl in WW2 and saying he wore a dress for a period in the 40's, which is also disturbing.

I loved when he talked about where he dressed as a German Chorus
singer. He sang won't you come home? Hitler looked at him and found
out that was Abe as a girl.

 

[tim_duncan2000]

The "onion on my belt" rambling speech is still my favorite.

 

[Bob Underdunk T]

Does anyone know where I can find that on the internet?

I posted it on the first page of this thread.

 

[Number 908]

- "Thats right, I did the Iggy!"

and from the same ep - and made funny by what homer does..
Grampa "They pay me $800 a week to tell a cat and mouse what to do"
Homer then visualizes taking grampa to the nut house in a wheelbarrow

 

[The First Homer II]

Bart-So because I nominated Mrs K, we get to go to the awards ceromony in Orlando!
Marge-Hu! Orldano, are we going to Sea World?
Bart-No
Homer-Disney World?
Bart-No
Lisa-Universal Studios
Bart-'Fraid not
GRAMPA-LEEESURE WORLD?
Bart-Sorry Grampa
Homer-Goats Gardens (or something like that cant remember)
Bart-Oh you wish!
GRAMPA-LEESURE WORLD?
Bart-Grampa, you're not even going!

 

[prince jafar allah]

Homer: "Nonsense, you're cute as a bug's ear."
Lisa: "Fathers have to say that stuff."
Homer: "Dad, am I as cute as a bug's ear?"
Grampa: "No, you're homely as a mule's butt!"
Homer: "See?"

 

[Helper Monkey]

Grampa: OK, I admit it, you found me! I AM the Lindburgh baby! Wah! Wah! I miss my fly-fly da-da!
Friday: Are you stalling us or just senile?
Grampa: A little from column A; A little from column B.

HM

 

[chmersch]

In Who Shot Mr. Burns

Pointing to the injured dog wheeling away.

"The lamps running away."

 

[Big Fat Dynamo]

Another good one is the rant to his ex-wife (Homer's Mum) followed by "Can we have sex now?? Please??"

 

[Maxxmuscle]

Grampa: OK, I admit it, you found me! I AM the Lindburgh baby! Wah! Wah! I miss my fly-fly da-da!
Friday: Are you stalling us or just senile?
Grampa: A little from column A; A little from column B.

HM

That was funny from Mother Simpson.

 

[Channel Surfer]

His WWI flashback in "Special Edna". Not necessarily my favorite, but it's one that hasn't been mentioned yet.

 

[Tibor]

"And that's what's wrong with Bart's generation, now as for your generation..."

----------------------------

"Back in those days, rich people would ride around in Zeppelin's throwing coins to people. One day I seen H. G. Rockefeller come flyin' by, so I ran out in the yard with my washtub- About that washtub: I had used it just that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was called a walking bird. We'd have walking bird every Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings- cranberries, injun' eyes, and yams stuffed with gunpowder!"

----------------------------

"Boy, you're ignorant! Back in Kitty Hawk, in Nineteen 'ought Three, Charles Lindberg flew her twenty miles on a single thimble-full of corn oil. Singe-handedly won us the civil-war it did."

"How do you know so much about American History?"

"I piece it together, from sugar packets, mostly."

----------------------------

"That dog's evil, I tells ya, EVIL!"

"You said that about all the toys."

"I just want attention."

----------------------------

"I used to be with it... Then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you!"

-------------------------------

When Homer sees him in the woods in The Springfield Files: "No time for you old man!"

----------------------------

Of course, the LETS ramble goes without saying, and I am certainly fond of his Rudyard Kipling soliloquoy in 'Old Money'.

"You'll be a bonehead!"

 

[Mike Scully]

"Boy, you're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly!"

 

[Mendoza!!!!]

"This elevator only goes to the basement, and someone made an awful mess down there" while in the port-a-potty.

Classic.

 

[Fat Whitey]

In Old Man and The Key, I can't remember this fully but he has a flashback of him smashing a car into a aquarium and goes "Is this the line to Dairy Queen"

I don't think I got what he said right but it was pure comedy

 

[The First Homer II]

Special Edna.

BART-Goodnight Grampa
GP-But I'm not tired!
HOMER-Come along now it time for bed, do you need to poop?
GP-Always

 

[Maxxmuscle]

Grampa:I'll take one Achoo.
Apu: No not choo Pu.

 

[Alexander]

"My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a cheat, a pig, a communist but he is not a porn star!"

Or something along those lines.

 

[Roque]

I believe he had repeated something he said before.

 

[Mojo!]

Bobbins: I do everything from reading bedtime storties to changing diapers!

GRAMPA: Put me down for one of each!

 

[Roque]

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot.

 

[HomertheGreat]

one of my favorite quotes came during a Halloween episode where Homer was going back in time and he remembers the advice Grandpa gives him on his wedding day. "Don't step on anything it could alter history!" or something like that. It was so unexpected it made me laugh