Best quotes for The Sprigfield Files

[Dr Zaius]

It's been a while since I started a thread in General Discussion, so uh, what's your favourite quote from this brilliant episode?

 

[Andy]

"He has a sweet high-pitched voice... like Urkel! And he comes every Friday night... like Urkel!"

 

[StrideR]

"Awww... it's Mr. Burns... KILL IT! KILL IT!"

"Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is
true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No."

"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called... 'The bus that couldn't slow down.'"

Mr. Burns: So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt!
Smithers: Wha...? What?!
Mr. Burns: You know. Light-hearted, fancy-free. "Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!" [chuckles a bit]
Smithers: Exactly, sir! [laughs nervously]


Mulder: There's been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the Heartland of America. We've gotta get there right away.
Scully: Well... gee, Mulder, there's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.
Mulder: [scoffs] I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.



...And so many more...

 

[skittlebrau]

Scully: "Now, we're going to run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a few yes or no questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?"
Homer: "Yes."

[the polygraph explodes]

 

[frostilicous]

HOMER: "You don't see any 'Homer is a dope' t-shirts, do you?"
T-SHRT GUY: "Those sold out in 5 minutes"

 

[Moose of Doom!]

DIEt.

 

[Sloppy Jimbo XOX]

Hibbert: Is the alien carbon-based, or silicone-based?
Homer: Uhhh... the second one. Zillifone. Next question?
Barney: (drunk) Is the alien Santa Claus?
Homer: Uh... yes!
Ned: Were you on my roof last night stealing my weather vane?
Homer: This interview is over! (slams door, said weather vane crashes to the ground)

 

[Yvan Eht Nioj]

"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called... 'The bus that couldn't slow down.'"

That was so funny! And the tape of Homer, Lenny and Carl while they were working ... classic.

I also laughed at ~

Marge: Homer, have you been drinking?

Homer: No. (Pause) Well, ten beers.

 

[prince jafar allah]

"I'm Leonard Nimoy. Keep watching the skis. Uh, skies."

 

[Dances In Underwear]

"Needs more dog"

Also, the scene with Moe and the whale.

Plus, most thinks mentioned here.

 

[(MxPwr)Kwyjibo]

Nimoy : Hello, I'm Lenard Nimoy, the following tale of alien encounters is true, and by true I mean false. Its all lies, but they're entertaining lies, and in the end isn't that, the real truth? The answer is, No.

Edit : Already posted oops, silly me.

 

[Van]

Scully: "Now, we're going to run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a few yes or no questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?"
Homer: "Yes."

[the polygraph explodes]

Mulder: "Wait a minute, Scully. What's the point of this test?"
Scully: "No point. I just thought he could stand to lose a little weight."
Mulder: "His jiggling is almost hypnotic."
Scully: "Yes. It's like a lava lamp."

 

[Necromancer]

Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night... like Urkel!
Wiggum: Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh, Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Homer: You don't have to humiliate me.
Man: I just torched a building downtown, and I'm afraid I'll do it again!
Wiggum: Oh, yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter! Fruitcake!

 

[Ryan]

Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night... like Urkel!

Well, you've already posted my favorite quote. Another one is at the end of act one, where Homer writes "yaah!" in the field and jumping once more to make the exclamation mark! And don't forget the scenes with Grampa...another one is Mulder going on about "the truth", deep into the night...

 

[Helper Monkey]

No time for you, old man!

HM

 

[Dr Zaius]

I am the thing.....from your ass!

BEST EPISODE EVER!!!

 

[Stina]

Drunk Homer: You are one fine looking woman, lady. If I wasn't married, I'd go out with you like that! (hits bottle on the bar; beer bubbles and spills out the bottle) I am so sorry! Whatever you do, don't tell Marge! God, I love her! I...Hey! A penny!(leaps into the floor).

Later...

So, I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the
end.

 

[StrideR]

This is how wacky episodes should be made.

 

[doyle]

Nimoy : Hello, I'm Lenard Nimoy, the following tale of alien encounters is true, and by true I mean false. Its all lies, but they're entertaining lies, and in the end isn't that, the real truth? The answer is, No.

 

[Munkybutt]

"Lousey, lovable, dog."

 

[Brentyn]

The Speed thing, and the Bud frogs being eaten by the Coors 'gator.