|"Ah hah hah, ah hah hah, ahh, ah, your humble website has been deemed worthy of existing in the honorable bookmark list of Akira, from The Simpsons." - Rex Lee||akira-rexlee.MP3|
|"Hey, he looks like you! Ah, hah hah, ah, ah." - Claire Hojnacki||akira-claire.MP3|
|"I see you like my tofu dogs." - Luis Andrade||apuclip.wav|
|"I can't believe you don't shut up!" - Brad Dugan||apu-dugan.MP3|
|Ned Flanders: "...Can't put a price on a miracle!"|
Apu: "I can't believe you don't shut up! Oh, I am sorry, I have been rude. As a token of apology, please take one of these babies." - Jonah Flynn
|"I'm not sure, I'm not sure if you heard me correctly, sir. You cannot have a giant Squishee. I don't care if your name is Anthony Moody." - Anthony Moody||apu-moody.MP3|
|"I won't lie to you. On this job, you will be shot at." - Frank M.||apu-frank.MP3|
|"He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers.... still, there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had." - Frank M.||apu2-frank.MP3|
|Barber at Snippy Long Stockings|
|"If you keep squirming there's going to be a little bald girl with no lollipop." - Ben Bishop||barber.MP3|
|"What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for?! (gasp) Someone spilled beer in this ashtray! (slurp) Ah!" - Dan B.||barney-danb.MP3|
|"Have you heard the latest, Homer? Anthony Moody sounds just like me." - Anthony Moody||barn-moody.wav|
|"...If you have a problem, no one else can help, and you can't find them, maybe you can hire the A Team (belch)." - Anthony Moody||barn2-moody.MP3|
|Here is Tom Neyens' attempt at imitating Barney.||barney-tom.wav|
|"That's just drunk talk, sweeeet beautiful drunk talk." - Charles Lloyd||drunktalk.MP3|
|"Woaaah ho, here we go." - Stefanie Becker||bart-stefanie.wav|
|Bleeding Gums Murphy|
|"Oh, come on Lisa, I got a date with Billie Holiday." - Ben Bishop||murphy.MP3|
|"You've made an old jazzman happy, Lisa. You must avenge my death, Kimba, d-I mean, Simba. Luke, I am your father. This is CNN. Would you guys pipe down? I'm saying goodbye to Lisa. We're sorry." - Ben Bishop||jazzman.MP3|
|Here's Luis Andrade's impression of the Bumblebee Man.||beeman.wav|
|"No, que lastima!" - Dan B.||bee-danb.wav|
|"Umm, Ralphie, if your nose starts bleeding it means you're picking it too much... or not enough. This is police chief Daniel Gottesman." - Daniel Gottesman||chief-daniel.wav|
|"Aww c'mon, continue. C'mon...aww...all right Lou, open fire." - Dan B.||chief-danb.MP3|
|"Lookin' good boys, especially you, Falcone." - Joshua Falcone||falcone.MP3|
|"Oh boy, oh boy. Lookin' good, Lou." - Dave Hinds||wiggum-dave.wav|
|Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel|
|"Hey ma, cousin Anthony Moody sounds just like me." - Anthony Moody||cletus-moody.wav|
|"Hey ma, look at that pointy haired little girl, hu-yuck!" - Frank M.||cletus-frank.MP3|
|Listen to the Cletus scene from "22 Short Films About Springfield." - Alex Wall & Gareth Watts||cletus.MP3|
|"Hey ma, tell everyone that Allen Harrison sounds just like me, (singing) 'cuz I'm Cletus the slack-jawed-yokel!" - Allen Harrison||yokel.MP3|
|"Never you mind, Brandine, you just go back to birthin' that baby, 'cause I'm Cletus the slack-jawed-yokel!" - Davide||yokel2.MP3|
|Comic Book Store Guy|
|"Ohh, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I cannot allow you to waste them here..." - Matt Quinn||cbgmatt.MP3|
|"Worst episode ever." - Vanessa Campbell||worstever.wav|
|"This impersonation of myself is, without a doubt, the worst episode ever." - Daniel Gottesman||cbg-daniel.wav|
|"This, this is worth nothing." - Alex Jones||cbg-alex.wav|
|"Are you the creator of Hi and Lois, for you are making me laugh." - Evan Serwinski||cbg-evan.MP3|
|"But Aqua Man, you cannot marry a woman without gills, you're from two different worlds...... oh, I've wasted my life." - Kevin Mears||aquaman.MP3|
|"Worst episode ever." - Jarrod||worstever.MP3|
|"Very well, I shall return back to my comic book store where I dispense the
insults rather than absorb them." - Ben Bishop||insults.wav|
|"Worst impersonation ever!" - Jonah Schwartz||worst.MP3|
|"That is a picture of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore. I will give it to you for a mere three dollars..." - Dave Hinds||cbg-dave.wav|
|DNA Professor from "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)"|
|"Whoa, hey there, DNA testing takes 6 to 8 weeks ....did I say weeks? 'Cause I meant seconds." - Kevin Bradley||dna.wav|
|"Hi, everybody!" - Dan B.||drnick-danb.MP3|
|"Duff Man can't breathe!" - Mike Ferro||breathe.wav|
|"Are you ready to get Duffed?!" - Frank M.||duffman.MP3|
|"That's a mug you don't want to chug, ohhh yeah!" - Kevin Bradley||chug.MP3|
|"I'm not your buddy, Simpson. I don't like you. In fact, I hate you. Stay the hell away from me!" - Mark Veldhuizen||grimes-mark.MP3|
|Gil the Salesman|
|Here's an outstanding collection of Gil quotes voiced by Jonah Flynn.||gil-flynn.MP3|
|"Aye, I've got a cripple of arthritis in my index fingers. I got it from space invaders in 1972." - Dan B.||willie-danb.MP3|
|"I was fighting wolves, when you were still sucking on your mother's teet!" - Scott C.||teet.MP3|
|"If only the sugar were as sweet as you sir..." - Thomas Acornley.||hansmoleman.wav|
|"D'oh!" - Andrew Marulanda||doh-andrew.wav|
|"D'oh!" - Brendan Csaposs||doh-brendan.MP3|
|"Exactly...heh heh heh....d'oh!" - Mike S.||homer-mike.wav|
|"Mmm...beer." - Justin Walter||mmmbeer.wav|
|"Now Marge, you're gonna hear a lot of craaaazy stories about Bart working in a burlesque house." - Matt Hauser||homer-matt.MP3|
|"First you didn't want me to get a pony. Now you want me to send it back. Make up your mind!" - Phillip Cary||pony.MP3|
|"Hello, I'm Homer Simpson and this is my impersonation of Jonah Schwartz." (Hah) - Jonah Schwartz||homer-jonah.MP3|
|Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."|
Mailman: "Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "I... don't know." - Gareth Watts
|"You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaaaaaming!" - Matt Hauser||flaming.MP3|
|"D'oh!" - Louis M. H.||d'oh.MP3|
|Huckleberry Hound from "Behind the Laughter"|
|"I was soooo gay. But I couldn't tell anybody!" - AJ Doucett||huckleberry.MP3|
|Itchy & Scratchy|
|Here Gareth Watts tries to duplicate the famous theme song.||themesong.MP3|
|"Was that me or was that you? Oh..." - Thomas Acornley||jasper-thomas.wav|
|Kang and Kodos|
|Kang: "I am Admiral Kang and this is my sister, Kodos."|
Kodos: "Hello." - Dan B.
|Kirk Van Houten|
|"Uh, that's okay, Homer. You know me, and I'm a superstar at the cracker factory." - Dan B.||kirk-danb.MP3|
|Kirk: "Uhh, you're letting me go?!"|
Executive: "Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers...we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without."
Kirk: "So, that's it. After 20 years, 'So long, good luck.'?"
Executive: "I don't recall saying 'Good luck.'" - Frank M.
|"Uhh, Milhouse, give him back his soul. I've got work in the morning." - Frank M.||kirk-frank2.MP3|
|Krusty the Clown|
|Krusty: "And here she is, kids. My new court order sidekick: Mrs. No Means No. Mmmwoah, you're hot! Want to get something after the show? ...But I have dinner with all my co-stars, right, Mel?"|
Sideshow Mel: "We've never spoken outside of work."
Krusty: "Heh heh...ah ha ha..ohhhhh." - Dan B.
|"Wuh heh heh heh heh heh! Ugh...I need a drink." - Dan B.||krusty2-danb.MP3|
|"Uggghhhh... shouldn't have turned down those cue cards." - Adam Wolf||krustywolf.MP3|
|Little Girl from "The PTA Disbands"|
|"Hello? Mrs. Pommelhorse? I'd like to get down now." - Brad Dugan||girl-dugan.MP3|
|"Hmmmmmm!" - Brad Dugan||mar-dugan.MP3|
|"This is a new sound which I'm trying out now. Thank you, Anthony Moody, for your assistance." - Anthony Moody||mar-moody.wav|
|"No, I think she's hot!" - Angi Duke||milhouse.MP3|
|"So why'd I have the bowl, Bart? Why'd I have the bowl?" - Miliana Rosana||bowl.MP3|
|"Am I really that ugly?" - Thomas Acornley||moe-thomas.wav|
|"Drive, Smithers, drive!" - Adam Markajani||burnsadam.mp3|
|"Good lord, Smithers, you look atrocious. I thought I told you to take a vacation." - Adam Graczyk||burns-adam.wav|
|"Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, let's all go the lobby and get ourselves some snacks." - Adam Graczyk||burns2-adam.MP3|
|"Oh, how I love that cheesecake." - Jason Graczyk||burns-jason.wav|
|"Excellent." - Justin Walter||burns-justin.wav|
|Mr. Burns: "Smithers, tell me who that is."|
Smithers: "Why it's Anthony Moody, sir, a drone from 9G."
Mr. Burns: "Oh, well call this Anthony Moody to my office. ...Oh yes, he's fired." - Anthony Moody
|Mr. Burns: "Smithers, who's that lazy procrastinator in Section 7G?"|
Smithers: "Umm, that would be Simpson, sir."
Mr. Burns: "Excellent. Have him terminated at once. But first... let's go to the lobby for a snack. That was Eric Kneifel doing Mr. Burns and Smithers." - Eric Kneifel
|"Well, if God didn't make little green apples it's Homer Simpson!" - Dave C. (vegasian)||apples.MP3|
|"Wooaaah, hey there little Lisa." - Eric Kneifel||otto-eric.MP3|
|"Can we get one of those guitars that's like a, you know, double guitar?" - Frank M.||otto-frank.MP3|
|"...But if you need proof of my identity, I wrote my name on my underwear. Ohh, oh wait, these aren't mine." - Frank M.||otto2-frank.MP3|
|Bart: "Otto, wait, why don't you come with me? You can stay in our garage."|
Otto: "A garage! Ohh, somebody up there likes me!" - Frank M.
|Patty: "...When you do good, I'll use the green pen. When you do bad, I'll use the red pen. Any questions?"|
Otto: "Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I mean, I don't wanna offend you, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me, I'm open-minded." - Frank M.
|"The only thing I was ever good at was driving a bus, and now the man says I need a piece of paper to do that." - Frank M.||otto5-frank.MP3|
|"Drivin' the bus is all I know how to do, but now the man says I need a piece of paper to do it!" - Matt Huaser||otto-matt.MP3|
|"My name is Otto, I love to get blotto!" - Michael Williams||blotto.WMA|
|"Marge, you could've done a lot better than marrying that fat slob, Homer. Oh look, MacGyver's on!" - Simran Dhadda||patty-simran.wav|
|Patty: "Now say, 'I am Homer Simpson, the lowly dog' ...in a dog's voice!"|
Homer: "I am Homer." - Dan B.
|Pimple Faced Kid|
|Here's AJ's impression of the Pimply Faced Teen. - AJ||pimple.wav|
|"Here's your taco, sir. Whoops, it dropped in the frier. I'll get it. Oww! Oww!" - Justin||pfk-justin.MP3|
|"...It happened again!" - Frank M.||pfk-frank.MP3|
|"Ahh, you stupid monkey..." - Alex Jones||monkey.wav|
|"Mmmheey! Mmhey... Professor Frink, Professor Frink, he makes you laugh, he makes you think. He likes to run, and then the thing with the umm..uh, person. Ohh boy, that monkey is gonna pay..." - Dave C. (vegasian)||frinkazoid.MP3|
|"Oh no, my wife is going to kill me... mmmhey!" - Ross Byrne||frink-rossb.MP3|
|"All right, this is dedicated to Bart Simpson, with the message 'I am coming to kill you, slowly and painfully.'" - Claire Hojnacki||announcer.MP3|
|Rainier Wolfcastle (McBain)|
|"Homer, remember to wipe your sweat off the machine. I got a terrible rash last night." - Dave Gutierrez||rash.wav|
|"From here they appear to be tied, but I will go in for a closah' look.....on further inspection, deese are loafers." - Nate Gilmore||mcbain-nate.wav|
|"Sherman, I just realized you made fun of me. Now you will pay..." - Beaker1st@aol.com||mcbain.MP3|
|"I once picked my nose 'till it bleeded." - Andy Reynolds||picked.wav|
|"I saw Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." - Jesse R.||babies.MP3|
|"I'm special. My cat's name is Mittens." - Davide di Michellangelo||special.WAV|
|Here is Kyle Veatch's attempt at imitating Ralph.||ralph-kyle.WAV|
|"Ms. Hoover? I don't have a red crayon. I ate it." - Caitlin Sisquo||ralph.MP3|
|"No, the doctor told me I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there." - Jay Labansky||nosebleeds.wav|
|"Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers -- unless they do. This one did. Ouch!" - Gareth Watts||ralphbush.MP3|
|"The doctor said if I keep my finger out of my nose it would stop bleeding." - David Klen||ralphw.MP3|
|Rod & Todd Flanders|
|Rod: "I got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart."|
Rod: "Down in my heart!"
Todd: "Where?" - David Klen
|"Daddy says dice are evil. We just move one space at a time. It's less fun that way." - Jake||evildice.wav|
|"Iron helps us play!" - Jake||iron.wav|
|Roy from "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show"|
|"Yo yo, how's it hangin' everybody?" - Frank M.||roy-frank.MP3|
|Here's Amanda Dressel's impression of Ruth, with various quotes from "Marge on the Lam".||ruthpowers.wav|
|"Hey fatty, I've got a movie for yah: 'A Fridge Too Far'" - Frank M.||clerk-frank.MP3|
|"Yeah, ya better make it quick, kids. In five minutes this place is turning into a Starbucks." - Andrew Campbell||clerk.MP3|
|"Holster. Bandoleer. Silencer. Loudener. Speed-cocker. And this thing's for shooting down police helicopters." - Jimmy Critch||guns.MP3|
|"We know something you don't want Marge to know. Now we own you, like Siegfried owns Roy." - Frank M.||selma-frank.MP3|
|Sen˘r Ding-Dong: "It is I, Sen˘r Ding-Dong!"|
Lisa: "I thought you were just a marketing gimmick."
Sen˘r Ding-Dong: "There was a time when that was true, but now, Sen˘r Ding-Dong lives again!" - Gareth Watts
|Sherri and Terri|
|Sherri: "Look at him, I bet he didn't study again."|
Terri: "And now he's gonna try to kiss up and get answers from us. He's pathetic." - Angi Duke
|"All right... I'm taking this thing to Mexico." - Frank M.||snake-frank.MP3|
|"Yoink dot com backslash losers!" - Evan Serwinski||snake-evan.wav|
|"...We're going to Mexico." - Dave Hinds||snake-dave.wav|
|Here's an imitation of Snowball II submitted by Nils and Nina.||snowball.wav|
|Chalmers: "Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?"|
Skinner: "Yes." - Dan B.
|"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such fishing films as 'Cast Out' or 'The Reel Deal.' That was Eric Kneifel doing Troy McClure." - Eric Kneifel||McClure.MP3|
|TV Salesman at the Ogdenville Outlet Mall|
|"Listen, I'm not gonna lie to ya, those are superior machines. But if you like to watch TV ... and I mean really watch it, you want the Carnivale..." - Kevin Bradley||salesman.MP3|
|Very Tall Man|
|"Do you find something comical about my appearance when I'm driving my automobile? Everyone needs to drive a vehicle." - Eric McKeon||tallguy-eric.MP3|
|"Should I therefore be made the subject of fun?" - Dave C. (vegasian)||VTM.MP3|
|Vincent Price: "Hello, my name is Vincent Price, mwahahahah. Hello men, I've been waiting for you, mwahah. Blast this infernal clutch!"|
Jody: "Give it some gas, grampa."
Vincent Price: "Quiet, Jody." - Kevin Mears
|Ned Flanders: "Hi diddly ho there, neighboroone."|
Homer: "Shut up, Flanders."
Ned Flanders: "Well, whatcha got goin' on there, Homer? I see a little thing going on.."
Homer: "I said 'Shut up.'" - Jake Lennington
|Mr. Burns: "Smithers! I think I'll give you a raise!"|
Nelson: "Ha ha!"
Homer: "D'oh!" - S.G.
Bart: "Aye, carumba!"
Mr. Burns: "Excellent." - Dan B.
|Dan B: "Wait, so instead of imitating one cartoon clown I've imitated two? That's much worse."|
Krusty: "About five thousand volts worse if you know what I mean! Aaanhh, bzzzz, sizzle." - Dan B.
|This is the scene from when Manjula's water breaks in "Eight Misbehavin.'" - Alex Wall & Gareth Watts||kwik-e-mart.MP3|
|Grampa Simpson is nearly shot by Burns' assassin in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish." - Gareth Watts||assassination.MP3|
|Pro wrestler Bret Hart dislikes the "old man" stink in Mr. Burns' mansion, so Smithers tries to cheer up Burns. - Boyd and Davide||oldman.MP3|
|Cletus and Cousin Merle bring terrible news to Sideshow Bob and his brother. - Stephen Frizzle||4F14.MP3|
|Bart and Milhouse want an all-syrup super squishee, but Apu is hesitant. - Adam Wolf||squishee.MP3|
|Mr. Burns: "Take her down, Smithers."|
Smithers: "But sir, you're flying the plane."
Mr. Burns: "Excellent." - Gareth Watts
|Here's a mini-episode done by Joe Karound with Simpsons characters expressing their opinion on marijuana legalization (this clip is not safe for work).||marijuana.mp3|
|Download this file to listen to Alex K. do impressions of Barney, Bumblebee Man, Comic Book Guy, Dr. Nick, Duffman, Homer, Krusty, McBain, Otto, Professor Frink, Smithers & Mr. Burns, Snake, Superintendent Chalmers & Principal Skinner, and Troy McClure.||alex.zip|