Famous CBG Quotage

"Let's see here. X-rated girls, already bookmarked, dial extra sex. Mr. X? Hmm, shall I cross the final frontier? What's this? Stolen funds? Pothole money used for swimming pool? [Angery] There's no emote icon for what I'm feeling!"

"No! No, freakin' kids. I do not need this, I've got a masters degree in folklore mythology."

Bart: "Is this cel worth anything?" CBG: "Huh, let me show you something. This, this is a Snagglepuss drawn by Hic Hiesler, it is worth something. This, this is an arm drawn by nobody, it is worth nothing." Bart: "Can't you give me anything for it?" CBG: "I can give you this telephone, it is shaped like Mary Worth". Bart: "Awww". CBG: "No groaning in my store."

"Er, excuse me. No banging your head on the display case please, it contains a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide. Thank you."

Bart: "It's valuable, huh?!" CBG: "Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go, go, for the good of the city."

Bart: "Who's gonna play Radioactive Man?" CBG: "I will tell you in exactly seven minutes." (He moves to his computer) CBG: "Okay, here we are, alt dot nerd dot obsessive. Need know star RM pic."

"Yes, this should provide adequate sustainance for the Dr. Who marathon."

"Stop right there. I have here the only working phaser ever built. It was fired only once, to keep William Shatner from making another album."

"I insist you take special care with my collection of valuable and humorous bumper stickers, particularly this one (he indicates a sticker which reads "My Other Car Is A Millennium Falcon") which was given to me by a Harrison Ford lookalike."

"I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them."