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Bob: This is one more emmy than you'll ever win, you bantering jack-in-the-box!
Krusty: Just don't drop that thing in the shower, Bob!..
Homer: Oh, Sideshow Bob. 32K
Bob: Bart here is the shamus in short pants who sent me to prison. 31K
Homer: Gee, if some snot nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing I'd out, I'd find out where he lives and tear him a new belly button. Uhh! Uhhh!... 119K
Bart: Aye Carumba!
Bob: Bart, if I wanted to kill you, I would have choked you like a chicken as soon as I walked in that door. (family gasps) Then what kind of guest would I have been? (laughter)
Bob: Dear Selma: Your latest letter sent off a riot in the maximum security wing of my heart.
Selma: Ooooooooh.
Bob: Like the lone Crocus that pokes through the prison yard, our love bloomed despite all obsticles.
Sideshow Bob and Selma sing a love song duet. FUNNY 200K
Bob: Selma. Would you mind if I did something bold and shocking infront of your family?
Selma: Alright, but no tounges.
Bob: Although, kissing you would be like kissing some devine ashtray, that's not what I had in mind. Selma, will you marry me?
Bart: Don't be a fool Aunt Selma! That man is scum!
Selma: Then call me Mrs. Scum.
Bob: Cutter. Ice-pick. Snake, I'm going to miss you most of all. 100K
Marge: And what would you like for appetizers?
Homer: Ooooh, appetizers.
Bob: Well, Homer, you seem to be a trenchaman, what should we serve?
Homer: Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies! They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup. It tastes like ketchup. But brother, it ain't ketchup!
Selma: That MacGyver's a genius.
Bob: First of all, he's not a genius. He's an actor. And second, he's not much of an actor.
Selma: You're lying! You're lying!
Bob: No, Selma. This is lying. That was a well-plotted piece of nonclaptrap that never made me want to retch.
Selma: No! (crys and runs out of room)
Marge: Ooh, there's Krusty the Clown. Krusty, Krusty, say something funny!
Krusty: Oh, gee, a joke. Um... Um... Uh, funny, uh, okay. Uh, this guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano and a twelve-inch pianist. Oh hoho, no, wait! I can't tell one!
Bob: That's right, dear. Enjoy your rest. The wedding was very tough on you. And the honeymoon is going to be... murder... [laughs] 224K
Bob: Ah, fire! Scourge of Prometheus! Toaster of marshmallows! Eradicator of deadwood. Oh Selma, dear! You and your little camera. What do you say we shut it off for a while?
Selma: And make love?
Bob: I suppose so.
Marge: Oh, that's sweet.
Bob: Well, time for my walk. [quietly] Don't forget to die. 50K
Bob: And then I went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like explode you. 61K
Bart: Chief Wiggum, think you have room in your jail for a two-time loser?
Wiggum: Well, no, frankly. But that never stopped us before.
Bart: Her only hope was a plucky young boy and his slow-witted father. Dad! When Aunt Selma lights up her cigarette at the end of McQyver she'll be blown to kingdom come!
Homer: Come again?
Bart: After trying four times to explain it to Homer, I explained it to Mom and we were on our way.
Homer: To the Simpson-Mobile!
Bob: I'll be back. You can't keep them democrats out of the white house forever! And when they get back, I'm back on the streets! With all my criminal buddies!! 150K