Eric : Thano, put the gun down and stop picking off our guests.
Dave : Owww, you shot me! You.. you bitch!
Thano : Sorry... *shoots again* I got another one!

Eric : Why would Lee write such a thing?
Thano : That was disturbing beyond belief.
Russ : Hah! I mean... that was scary. Next!

This was not a lame way to end Maude's life. It is imperitive to note that she is not a main character in the Simpsons. However, the connection into the main play of the story is that her biggest fan, next to God and Ned, was indirectly responsible for her death. It is not that she died, but that Homer is completely unaware once again. Part of the excellence of the Simpsons is its segues into the true episode.... - Anonymous

Russ : That wasn't the question.
Thano : Smart ass. Oooh! Look at me! I'm Einstein! Pfft...
Michael : Thano doesnt like smart asses.. for that you lose.
Eric : Huh? Your nose is pretty brown there, Mike.

I would have kept the death the same, but changed what happened afterward. Ned sues the cannon guy, and gets a huge settlement. He's then approached by some scientists, who claim that "We have the technology, we can rebuild her." The rest writes itself. - GKScotty

Thano : Mmmmm... genetic restoration...
Russ : Is anyone going to answer the question?
Eric : Oh, I only post the submissions that don't make sense, so quit yer' complaining.

Thano : Inspiring.
Eric : We found a happy home for your elephant, Mike. Don't you worry. As for all the other winners, they got nice prizes. Heh heh heh.

My favourite for Maude's end (ever since I heard the phoney rumour that she was to die in "Faith/Off") was to have her dying a death from violence. Just look at "Bart of Darkness", which was one of the best episodes ever. Maybe Ned could get one of his weird fugues and kill his wife painfully in a fit of rage and/or jealousy. Who knows, maybe he'd realise that she was secretly in love with Homer. After the terrible struggle and final death stabbing, he'd kill his sons and finally himself by way of escaping the law. CHIEF WIGGUM: I tell you guys, he was hepped up on goofballs! REVEREND LOVEJOY (piously): Now, he will burn in hell for this... forever. GHOST OF NED (rising to heaven with angels and the spirits of his murdered family): Sorry to disappoint you, suckeli-duckers! AND BESIDES, *I* WROTE THE SCRIPT CALLED "BART TO THE FUTURE". STEVEN J. SCOTT THOUGHT UP THE TITLE, AND I WROTE IT! DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL! Love, Christina Nordlander, the Queen of Weird, stray psycho - Christina Nordlander

Thano : Eric, please remove the weirdo.
Eric : No way man, she's your problem.
Russ : *hides behind Thano*
Michael : It's OK Russ, she won't bite.. Oh dear God she's coming right for us!

Crushed between two mating rhinos. Sweeeeet! (sound of gun going off in background) - Ben Allman

Thano : Mating rhinos? Kinda like when Eric gets the hots for a chick.
Russ : Yes..that's something I would like to see.
Michael : No, trust me, you dont wanna see that.

I think that Maude should have seen Homer naked through the window. After seeing this she should have fainted and fallen out the window. - Matt"Jebus"Skoklo

Thano : That, or she would have died of super intense masturbation. But that would have been just sick, so forget I said anything.
Eric : Too late.
Dave : In England, we call it wanking.
Michael : Thano, your ideas intruigue me and i wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Russ : Thano, have you no care for my attempts to make this a family site? How dare you.

I would like to have seen the setting at a Church picnic. The Flanders and Lovejoys would be having a gay ol' time, with Helen spreading her beloved gossip. After saying a delightfully wicked tidbit about one Homer Simpson, she ends the sentence with "If I'm lying, may God strike me dead." She then stops to tie her shoe, despite them being loafers, and a thunder-bolt comes out of the sky. It catches Maude's piece of the true cross, making it burst into flames. Maude runs around and finds a lake. She does a perfect swan dive into it, trying to get rid of the flames. However, to everyone's dismay, the lake blows up while the music hits a dramatic note. Mr. Burns replies that his nuclear power was dumped in the lake, causing Maude to die horribly. Homer's only response is "See, I told you that wasn't true!" R.I.P. Maude - The Mexican Greaser

Russ : 1) Use happy instead of gay. 2) I've never seen Maude wear loafers. 3) Zeus is in charge of lightning, not God. 3) Since when does Nuclear waste make a lake blow up? Other than that...good job..heheh.
Eric : You count well.

I would have had Maude die silently in her sleep. - Joe"thano is my hero"V

Thano : I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm glad I'm your hero. *strikes hero pose*
Russ : I'm surprised that Thano didn't let you win for that hero thing.
Michael : And I'm surprised that Thano didn't let him win for the lesbian sex.
Thano : He's a winner in my book.

Maude finds out Ned is cheating on her so she gets on a ship and leaves him. then little blue men start dancing. After that a shark called Jaws attacks a house ing Springfield. Then the boat chrases in an ice berge but Maude survies. then she fainted THEN she dies. Its better than the T-shirt thing right? - AL

Thano : No.
Russ : Well...no.
Michael : I'm gonna give a different answer: Hell no.

I would have had Maggie shoot her just like she shot Mr. Burns. - BrightGrl8

Thano : Yeah, that would have been original.
RussdaHOmEE2 : What's with your names, people? Anyway..let's hope this person never becomes a writer for ANYTHING.
Michael : A/S/L check.. LOL Thano I'm ROFLMAO!

I would have had the Mafia come by the Flanders house and kill Maude in a drive by shooting. - Niels

Thano : Since when do we... err... the Mafia do drive by's? *whisper* Rocco, get rid of him.

When she got hit she would first fall into a open garbage truck then be driven for 20 feet and the driver would crash it by driving to their car and exploding it into flames. Then maude would be launched in to the air sreaming when she landed into a rat trap manufacturing plant that happened to be located by a cliff 1,000 feet above a lake. She would then tumble out of it because the plant was not leveled right and fall into the lake and be eaten alive by baby bass being released into the lake. - Amy MacDougall

Thano : That's an awesome death. You're hired to write at FOX! No wait, they don't like new fresh, good writers... never mind.
Audience : Ooooooh...

Response: she would have died of old age waiting for you guys to update just d'oh it. i'm just joshin' lads, you do mighty fine work. all i can say is wooly mammoth and a whole lot of jello. then she'd be gone for good. damn birds. get outta my puddin'. "marge, didn't you want to spend that money on a vibrating chair?" - bonzar the hunted

Thano : I don't know what to say to that... so I'll just sit here... and twiddle my thumbs.
Russ : Blame Thano for the updating time, my jolly good man.
Michael : Thano is too busy pimpin' The Godfather's Ho's.
The Godfather : I guess I just don't have Thano's skill. *cries*

I think she should have been trampled by Stampy the elephant. - Maddie C.

Dave : Ha ha ha ha, now that I would pay big money for.
Thano : *continues twiddling*

I think there should be a mule that kicks field goals for a football team and they win a lot of games and Maude gets her head kicked off by the mule and the mule learns how to talk and the mule has intelligent conversation with Homer Jay Simpson. - Captain Winkyless

Thano : *twiddles violently*
Michael : Patience, Thano, your latest issuse of Penthouse will come in due time.

mAYOR qUIMBY ACCIDENTLY RAN OVER HER WITH HIS LIMO AND INSTEAD OF STOPPING AND SEENG IF SHES OK HE SHOUTS OUT VOTE QUIMBY, AND LEAVES - cARLOS miRANDA

Thano : THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, I THINK THAT WE SHOULD ALL TYPE IN CAPS, DON'T YOU GUYS AGREE?
Russ : i AGREE WITH YOU tHANO. iN RESPONSE TO cARLOS: YEAH, AND AFTER THAT MAYBE HE COUL FORGET THAT HE LEFT UM..SOMETHING AT HOME AND THEN GO BACK AND THEN HE WOULD RUN OVER MAUDE AGAIN AND THAT WOULD BE FUNNY BECAUSE TWICE IS PRETTY GOOD, BUT WHEN HE GOT THE THING THAT HE NEEDED HE WOULD RUN OVER HER AGAIN AND THEN LEAVES. wHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? OH AND HE COULD ALSO SAY VOTE QUIMBY AGAIN TOO!
Michael : wHO LET rUSS OUT OF HIS CAGE? wIRTANEN, IM LOOKING AT YOU.
Russ : *Stuffs Michael in a dog cage*

Well my good friends, first off I would have Maude building a Domino Ralley set. And when she finishes she eats a Nutri-Grain bar. The combination of Nutri-Grain bars and Domino Ralley is just to much for her to handle so she drops dead. This all happens while homer plays with some Creepy Crawlers he just made. - Tim

Thano : Hehehe, Creepy Crawlers...
Russ : I have a Creepy Crawlers set. But it doesn't make people who eat nutri-grain bars die =(
Eric : Russ, stop trying to kill everybody. *Lets Michael out of the dog cage*

She`s killed in an aeroplane accident, along with Lionel Hutz, Lunchlady Doris, Troy McClure, Lurleen Lumpkin, and any other characters voiced by Phil Hartman and Doris Grau. There are also 'Simpsons' versions of characters they have played before in movies, other shows, etc. - Lisa and Rhett Lavin

Thano : That's... great...
Russ : What the fu...
Censors : We are currently rewriting our script, we appreciate your patience.

Tainted Communion wine. - Greg

Thano : Hah! Now THAT'S irony.
Russ : That sounded like it was a bit thought out!

I think that they should have Maude and Ned go for a ride in the country, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere,... actually, to be perfectly honest, I don't have any ideas. I thought that if I sounded like I had one, maybe you'd think that I did have an idea. But I don't. Sorry. Guess I was just wasting your time. By the way, I love the Simpsons. They're my favorite show. Really. So send me free t-shirts and crap, ok?... - gregor

Thano : You'll get nothing and like it.
Russ : *Sneaks Gregor a free t-shirt*
Dave : WTF? Where's my t-shirt gone? I'm cold.

OKAY, this is how it should of been girls. she would of died by seeing Ned trying to get it on with her. It would be so disgusting she would even try to kill herself, but she finally died of cardiac arrest. Ok, i know what you're thinking......(nevermind).....well, i know what you're supposed to be thinking. Where did Hell did Rod and Tod come from them if they didn't have sex? Simple. She had sex with Reverend Lovejoy. Yeah, shes dirty, REALLY dirty, and lovejoy? come on! you know he had it in him. so how come Ned doesn't expect anything? he thinks it was an immaculate conception and thinks *his* children are little angels (litterally). So there you have it. Ned gets drunk, tries to have sex with Maude, and she dies of a heart attack. Badda Bing Badda Boom. - john crapper

Thano : Wow, you pretty much covered everything.
Russ : I'm not a freaking girl, you..you...girl!!
Audience : *applaudes and whistles loudly*
Censors : I find that lewd, and demeaning.. but very entertaining.. this passes.

I WOULD OF KILED HER BY MAKING HER GET DONKEY PUNCHED. LOVE, JOE - JOE

Thano : We love you too, Joe.
Russ : What's a donkey-punch? Please confirm that it has nothing to do with liquor in any way. PLEASE!

I think this episode should have started out with Ned Flanders realizing that he should live life to the fullest. Ned then becomes a hippie, drags Maude with him, and does all the things that hippies are known for. With his wife, Ned would trade the house for several hundred pounds of peyote flakes,and a cartload of orange sunshine (LSD) sugar. They would then start living in a box. Homer then starts accepting Ned as a friend. After a little too much purple haze (LSD) Ned drives to the local bar, in which he passes out in the car (while driving). After Ned wakes up, he realizes he got into an accident with Hans Moleman. Ned decideds to stop living the life of a hippie, but suprise, suprise, Maude is Dead. Now to destroy my chances of winning! I think Thano should resign as Slave overseer and since Eric is the coolest, with his sarcastic remarks, should be the guy that messes with everyones minds. Lee should be ummm... the mortician!!! Cool... Nate should then be promoted... Space Coyote... could be the head of Jerry Garcia impersonations!!! - Kris Lentz

Eric : Hmm... makes sense!

have her choke on a corn dog!!!!!!! - Philip flores

Russ : OK!!!!!!!
Thano : I can swallow a corn dog whole, watch! *tries, starts choking* Help....
Michael : Quick, get Lee, he knows the Heimlich maneuver!
Lee : I'm cooooming! Everyone out, the man needs air. Leave me and Thano alone! Alone!
Thano : *still choking* God no, please no.....

she would end up being rectal probed by kang and kodos - yo mama

Thano : She might like that death... I know Lee would.
Lee : I thought you said there'd be no more Lee jokes!
Thano : Yeah, but it's like tobacco, I need to ease off slowly. I even have a "Gay Lee Joke" patch. Wanna see?
Lee : Why, is it on your ass?
Thano : Never you mind.

Have her get drunk off of overly-strong communion wine and wander into a male strip club at which point she dies of embarassment. - Mary C

Eric : What, was Lee working there?
Thano : Why are you looking at me, I wouldn't know.
Nate : *grins nervously*
Thano : Damnit Nate, not again.

maude flanders should have a heart attack after seeing smithers and john the cocamammies store owner making love. has the whole world gone gay?! - el "number 908" presidentai

Eric : No, just your fruity town.
Thano : Yeah, and of course Lee.
Lee : But I thought you said...
Thano : Get me another patch.

The key here is mormons. Lots of mormons. Incredibly far from politically correct, but quite humerous is the following. Over a thousand mormons comes to town for a convention, invading Springfield. They saturate the stores and resteraunts, spreading their beliefs like a disease. They find out about the incredible faith of the Flanders', and set out to convert them all. They storm the Leftorium, where Ned has the chlildren, with clubs and torches. Ned breaks a glass panel marked, "IN CASE OF MORMONS, BREAK GLASS." He depresses a button inside, pouring hot tar on the front line of the mob while simultaneously opening a door revealing two poles which the family slides down. They come to a cave with a secret car, open a secret door carved into a mountain and come speeding out through the hills. They are immediately pursued by three cars of mormons. A high speed chace ensues. Ned pushes a button leaking grease onto the road. One of the cars spins off the road leaving two in pursuit. The Flanders' jump a cliff to get away, but hit a rock on the other side. The two mormon cars jump, but only one makes it. That car begins to run down the family, minus Marge, who are now on foot. Rod throws a Moses action figure under the wheel, popping a tire. Thus the pursuiting mormons are also on foot. They chase the family until their backs are against a cliff. As the mormons inch nearer, the Ned, Rod, and Todd's demise seems inevitable. Then Maude swoops down on a hang glider at the last second. Ned straps himself in and Rod and Todd hold on beside him as Maude holds off the mormons with a cross shaped sword. As Ned and the boys take off, Maude grabs Ned's hand at the last second. Ned can't hold on and Maude falls to her doom in the Springfield gorge below. - Lanny

Thano : That was damn cool. You should win. I said you SHOULD win, that doesn't nessesarily mean you will.
Monkey with a monical : But in this case you do!
Thano : I'm just going to sit down and pretend I didn't just see that.
Russ : In case Thano and his monkey babble have confused you, you didn't win.

Cannibles!!!! - Matt Amato

Thano : *looks up from chewing on human leg* What?
Russ : C'mon guys, cannibals aren't really that bad once you get to know them.
Thano : *starts chewing on Nate Gilmore*
Nate : Ach! My eyes, the goggles do nothing!

Picture this. The Flanders family is visiting the Springfield Museum and they are viewing the bullet extracted from Mr. Burns. At the same time, Maggie and Homer are walking down the street. Marge has left town so Homer was left to care for Maggie for the day. Maggie ran out of milk while they were heading downtown to do something (pay a ticket, whatever). Homer buys a can of Buzz Cola to put in Maggie's bottle making special note of the "contents under pressure" warning label. As the two are walking by the museum, maggie belches into her cola-filled bottle which causes the air pressure inside to build up to dangerous levels. The bottle flies out of Maggies mouth like a rocket, foes through the window of the museum and through the glass case containg the Burns bullet. The bullet is propelled directly into the chest of Maude Flanders. - Bryan Lindsey

Thano : Why the hell would the bullet that shot Mr. Burns be in the Springfield museum?
Dave : Talking about Mr. Burns, check out this great site I found the other day: http://smarch.com/boourns/
IGN.com Executive : Excuse me, but you can't link to that page here. *goons take Dave away*

I liked how you killed Maud she was an ass sorry for the cursing. - Patrick Wallace

Thano : Yeah... uhh... I like how we killed Maude too... *whisper* Eric, what the hell is he talking about?
Russ : Was this in the script??
Michael : Uh, guys, we're live coast to coast.
Eric : *to camera* We'll be right back.

i would have bart start to speak spanish and figure out that flanders is an illegal alien who is related to his teacher. maude would be outraged and try to sneak flanders back over to mexico.....she is caught by the border and forced to join a satanic cult...she is rescued by indiana jones and once she reaches safety a small robot jump s out of her chest and starts to sing a light blues song...ned becomes a legal citizen..and stays married to the robot...which he loves - bunk

Thano : What!?!?!
Russ : Legal citizen? What is that? *hears I.N.S. coming after him, runs away*
Michael : He went that way *points to where Russ ran off* .. never liked Russ anyways.

I would've had Itchy and scrachy come to life then kill with a saw. - Eliezer Rivera

Russ : Yeah, cause we all know of the grudge that is held between Maude and two cartoon-cartoon characters. *rolls eyes* Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.
Eric : You're still here? *shouts to I.N.S.* There he is, on the monkey bars.
Russ : Oh no, not again! .........My glasses!

I would have killed her by having her getting shot by a drunken Cletus and Homer seeking revenge, seeks the help of Fat Tony, who also had feelings for Maude. Cletus is then shot and his family is sent a dead fish. But then Homer reads Crime and Punishment and decides he has no choice but to kill Fat Tony and when he does he is shot by Fat Tony's son who then decides that when bart gets older he will seek revenge so even though Marge pleads with him, he is persistent and then Bart must flea to India with the help of Apu. He lives happily for a time with Apu's mom but then decides that he must return to the u.s and when he does he wipes out the springfield mob and takes over himself and with the genius of Lisa, the ruthlessness of Nelson Muntz, and blind loyalty of Milhouse, rules the underworld under the name of Bart Corleone. - Ben Preleski

Thano : This is the most confusing thing I've ever read in my life. Except for that time I tried to read Russ' mind... whoo...
Russ : Yeah, I wouldn't recommend reading my mind 'till you reach puberty, Thano.
Eric : Ooooooooh!
Thano : Bitch.
Eric : Ooooooooh!
Audience : Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!
Jerry Springer : And now for my final thought. *punches Russ in the face*
Eric : Well, that was unexpected.

First the Flanders would fall into deep financial trouble as a result of a failed investment into a .com company, and the failed flotation of the Leftorium on the European stockmarket. Maud would be forced to take up mud-wrestling at a local bar, so that bills could be paid. She would fluke a few wins, and end up in a title match against a Swedish woman who pulled her pick-up through 3 states with her teeth on the way. Maud would pull out of the fight and move into the church attic with her family. The floor would however be too weak to stand the strain of a whole family living on it, and the church would collapse killing Maud with a dramatic fall to the ground. - Mike Gibb

Thano : Wow, and I all the while I thought the butch Swede was gonna get her...
Michael : Damn Euros, always doing the wrong ending..... uh, i have nothing wrong with Europeans. This was just a jok.. a bad one in fact. All comments can be sent to Eric@milpool.com
Dave : Damn Euros... Oh wait, scrape that... DELETE, DELETE

SHE WOULD GET FEED UP WITH DOING TO MANY CHORES AND WORK AND BLOW UP - JONNY BYRD

Eric : *disgusted* Thano, release the robotic Richard Simmons.

I would have got a reall, really, really (the biggest ever) GUN!!!! And probably would have admired the gigantic gun whilst hitting Maude continuosly over the head with the baseball bat.. - Patrick

Eric : Heeeeey, you can't write yourself into the episode. Next!

She gets stuck in Ned's moustache. She chokes 5 minutes later - Dirk Peters

Dave : How can one get stuck in a moustache?
Eric : Peanut butter would've gotten her right out.

t-shirts knock her over the ledge. - zach

Eric : Good ide....wait a minute.
Thano : That sounds familiar...

Who was the character to make the school bus fly off the bridge in the episode where the school childeren were stranded on an island? - pinchy lobster *carlos*

Dave : Milhouse? Otto?? How the fudge should I know?
Thano : What the hell does this have to do with anything!?

I'd create a strange ball of dust that can...wrong question. That was #2. - Insert "Did this update last month?" Name Here

Thano : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i think blink 182 should totally be on the show. it would be the coolest and funniest thing. forget about the gay backstreet boys and nsync. BLINK 182 BLINK 182 BLINK 182 - Claire

Eric : Heeey, that's an older question. Someone restrain Thano, he might snap.
Thano : *face goes red* ALGKJAS:GL:EGKNEOGN{EIHG{HEG{NB}N)W#T OUHTOWEOTHWOPEHTEWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uhhh... I don't know. I never saw this episode so I don't know. It was probably lame, I would have ended it with exposions an stuff, yea. FIRE! BOOM! BURN MAUDE! HA HA HA Ha Ha ha ha... OK I'm done. Did I win? - James

Eric : It's probably better if we don't tell ya.
Thano : Your prize is this straight jacket...

I would have done a two part season ending cliffhanger where everyone is a suspect, there's no possible way to figure out who the killer is, and then have it turn out that Maggie inadvertently shot her in a ridiculous twist of circumstances that happens to coincide with some misleading dialouge that indicates the killer is an adult. I would then build and build the suspense with magazine articles, fast food tie-ins, multiple versions of the ending to mislead spies, and laugh all the way to the bank at the expense of millions of loyal fans who deserved better. - Disco Steveo

Eric : No bashing of the classics on this website.
Thano: Have we not already gone over this?

Drive a steamroller over her, then cut her into little pieces, drop the pieces off the Empire State Building into a pool of alcohol, set the alcohol on fire and then sell Maude's remains to a cheap pawnbroker in Pittsburgh - Eddie Miller

Eric : Angry, angry young man.
Thano : Were you neglected as a child?

Homer farted and blew up in her face - oren glass

Eric : Spontaneous combustion. I like, I like.
Thano : Hehehehehe, fire farts.

First of all, I don't care. Second of all, we would've needed to have more of Ned's unit in there so Lee can be happy. That's pretty much it. As for Maude and the death and such, well, it would have been nice if her clothes got ripped open somehow or something cause daaaamn, she's hot. - Eric McKeon

Eric : That's it, I'm sending this boy to a psychiatrist.
Thano : I see penguins.
Eric : You too.

Flanders feels he is not being religious enough so he goes to St Peters in the Vatican in Rome. Homer tags along. While there, Homer becomes jealous of God because he gets all the attention as this is the "Holy City". Homer attempts to win the people's praise by knocking over the colosseum which he thinks isn't wanted anymore. Being Homer, he doesn't know how to operate a crane and smashes it into St Peters. Many walls collapse and the Pope sleeping upstairs falls through the floor, landing on Maude. Maude is killed. Flanders is sad for Maude but is ecstatic that he has earned the Pope's blessing. - Stefano Buatti

Eric : Thano Lambrinos, AKA the Phony Pope, can be recognized by his high top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth.
Thano : Christianity F*)&ing rocks!

The Winner: This is how my episode would go: The Simpson Family is sitting peacefully at the kitchen table, eating breakfast, and Marge is reading the local newspaper. She notices two articles: one about the poor health of Springfield Parents, and the other about an Exotic Food Festival in Capital City on tomorrow. Deciding that a daily run-around-the-block would take care of the health issue, and unable to get Homer to come along with her, she begins her run around the neighborhood. She comes across Maude Flanders, standing outside her house, selling Rice Crispy Squares with slacking business. Marge walks past, has some rice crispy squares, and talks to her about the new Exotic Food Festival tomorrow. Maude says she'd love to go, but couldn't because she would be attending Pleomore Flanders (Ned's brother)'s wedding. Marge insists that she goes, and Maude says she would talk it over with Ned. The next day (after Bart and Lisa find a magic wand in the backyard, which Santa's Little Helper half-buried, and pretend to play magic tricks on the neighbours), Ned and Maude visit the Simpson's residence, where Marge is about to start another daily run. Ned and Maude explain that Pleomore got married a week beforehand and neither of them knew. Marge, Ned and Maude decide to all go to the Exotic Food Festival in the afternoon. After a long drive in the Simpson's car, they arrive at Capital City, and ask a nearby policewoman for directions to the Festival. She says that it is not actually in Capital City, but in Springfield. Confused, they drive back and find the Festival, where Marge queries the Officer at the entrance as to why the Festival was advertised to be at Capital City. The man explains that nobody would want to visit "America's Crud Bucket" for a Food Festival, so they used Capital City instead. A little less confused, the trio enters the Festival and spends a few hours tasting the foods. Maude gets a recipe off one of the stall workers, which is called "Shankoompantakoom", and described as Shorvitzia's national delicacy. On the way back in the car, Marge spots Bart and Lisa playing with the magic wand on the road. She almost hits them, but luckily stops just in time. Picking the two kids up, and very angry, Marge drops off Ned and Maude at their house, and continues to the Simpson's home, where she yells at Bart and Lisa for being careless, and confisgates the wand. Over at the Flanderiseses' home, Maude tries to prepare the Shorvitzian dish for dinner, where she accidentally adds in nutmeg instead of cinnamon (terror music). While tasting her near-finished mixture, she slowly suffocates. Ned, Rodd and Todd Flanders are sitting precariously in the dining room, waiting for Maude to finish cooking the meal. After about ten minutes, Ned gets worried and checks on Maude. Finding her struggling for air on the floor, Ned watches her pass away. The funeral at the Flanders' house comes the next day, and Bart give his magic wand to Ned, in sympathy. Ned has a sudden attack of inspiration, and runs into his house, still with mournful tears in his eyes, and pulls out a book from the bookshelf. Bart frantically follows behind him, curiously. Ned compares the wand to an image in the book, and notices that they are exactly similar. It is the Ancient Maudovian Wand, and below the picture in the book, is a caption, stating that when the wand is revealed to one Bartholemew Jo-Jo Simpson, Maude Meryl Flanders would die. As this is the eventuation, Ned changes religion from Christianity to the religion inscribed on the front of the particular book he was reading, "Shorvitzianity - a religion with a thousand foods". - Daniel Bouwmeester

Eric : Well done, you win. Now all we need to do is to cap off this edition with a joke.
Thano : A joke? But it's so good! Ok, I'll try. Uhmm... you... err... I got nothing.
Dave : Write a joke for me, Eric.
Eric : Bah, you're not supposed to type that on the final copy!
Dave : Well no one told me!
Eric : Ugh.

Conclusion : Our visitors are bloodthirsty animals.