Thano : Who's Miss Hover? Some space age hovering teacher on the Simpsons that I don't know about? Wait a second... is Ms. Hover a code name for a telletubby... and... uhh... what the hell am I talking about, I need a nap.
Eric : Weren't there four Telletubbies last year?
Thano : The gay one is related to Lee.

I would like to see lisa marry bart and then they'd have a kid and we'd see them do the process - Bob

Thano : Maybe if they lived in Arkansas.

I would like to see Sherri and Terri get married. It would start out on the Jerry Springer show, and Sherri and Milhouse will be the guests. Milhouse would propose to her, which leads to his rejection. She tells him that shes hooked up with someone. Terri the walks out. Milhouse is dumbfounded. Terri proposes to Sherri, and they get married in Arkansas. They will have 3 kids together. They all look like Cory from boy meets world. - Michael Richards

Thano : Heh, after like 8 years, Cory went NOWHERE with Tapanga... what a loser.
Eric : That's it, I ain't going to Arkansas anytime soon.
Nate : Yes, you guessed it - it's Arkansas day at Evergreen Terrace.

Erm, I think that Lisa and Bart will get married! I know you say it cant happen but Eric and her brother got married.. it's true. Russ has the pictures... I'm fired aren't I.. Oh boooy back to eating outta dustbins for me again.. - Davey Boy

Thano : Eric is a her? Interesting... I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Eric : No....he, meant the other Eric!
Nate : Oh yea! The one with the vagina.
Thano : That was dirty. Call it a flower.

Marge and Maggie. They'd have 6 children together also. - Mr. Weeeed

Thano : That's physically impossible... well maybe... oh my, that's a disgusting thought.
Nate : Now I remember why I blocked this guy on my ICQ.

Hans Moleman & Patty or Selma Bouvier!! They'll have such cute kids!! Aww and someone can make a parody of the Simpson Family Tree site called The Moleman Family Tree! - Anna "i wanna be humped by the elephant prize" Budinsky

Thano : If Hans Moleman's face is all shriveled, imagine his... never mind.
Eric : Hah....no one in their right mind would want to picture that.
Lee : Mmm....
Nate : Anna.. I would like to construct this tree. And no Lee, there will be no pictures of Moleman's.. moleman.
Space Coyote : Good Moleman to you.

You know the two people who's getting married would really be funny? Moe and Marge. Here's how it would happen. Homer would start having hundreds of affairs with anonymous prostitutes, then using what little money the family has to pay them off. Marge soon finds out and decides she has to pay Homer back. So she decides to marry Moe (who has many mafia connections) so she can tell him to get his mafia friends to kill Homer. Soon Homer is whacked gangland style, and Marge then divorces Moe and and kills him with a Moltov cocktail. She then goes off to Africa and joins a a band of violent rebels in the jungels of the Congo. - Jack Stanton

Thano : I'm going to stand over here now... *walks away slowly... starts running*
Nate : Che! Che! Che!
Space Coyote : Sounds like a good plot for a Jase fanscript.
Jase : *grabs the script* Yoink!

I would definitely like to see Homer and Marge get marrie...wait...I would definitely like to see Apu find a bride of some sor...God, hold on, i'll find one...oooh, hows about Moe and Lunchlady Doris, booze and horse testicles always makes for good fun...hehe - Pops "quotes" Freshenmeyer

Thano : Horse testicles? I wonder how much iron are in those.
Lee : All I know is my testicles won't fit in my underwear.

Lisa and Milhouse. Then during the night Lisa could be a prostitute while Milhouse is at home overdosing on speed. - ScorpiO

Thano : Too much prime-time tv for you mister! To bed with no dinner!
Space Coyote : And no Bible stories for you!

How about Abe Simpson and Agnes Skinner. That would make Principal Skinner Bart's great uncle or something like that. Then Bart would turn into a green flying monkey because flying monkeys like to eat.... stuff. And stuff is cool. Hmmmmm.... now I have to try to think of something funny to say so I can win....... how about.......... don't step in the poop. Hehe, I crack myself up. Don't I just crack you guys up?? I'm feelin' a bit woozy.... [faints and hits head on floor] - Chris Jean-Louis

Thano : Now you're unconsious and suffering severe head trauma, and you STILL didn't win... take that!
Nate : Stepped on the poop! Hehahehaheheh. This contest is over! Give that man the $10,000.

Superentended Chamlers is crewin Princliple Skinners Mom... They Plan to get married but Ms.Skinners thinks that Chalmers is no good in bed , so she ditches him for the sexy stud Raplh Wiggims.... She hooks up with wiggums, until Wiggums ends up cheatn on his 100 year old bitch with barts teacher ms.Crabobal!!!! damn the love Triangles goin on in this STORY!!! but in the end ms.Skinner becombes a lezbien with Ms.Burns and Ralph ends up with 2 bitches Patty and Selma.... ms.Crabobal ends up alone but not toatly she has her movies and viberator... - -l-SoUl_AsSAaSIn-l-

Eric : Bart's teacher is named Crabobal? All this time I've been calling her Krandle...ohh, I've been making an ass out of myself!

Homer and Marge - Mike Neuman

Thano : You know, that just might work out!

Dr. Hibbert and The Comic Book Guy. Their kids' laughs would be the best ever. - Ray Szwabowski

Thano : Heheheheh... they'd have the most messed up voices... kinda like Lee... seeing that he still hasn't hit puberty yet.
Lee : *giggle*
Nate : Men can't have babies! Boys got the hot dogs and girls got the buns! Boys got the hot dogs and girls got the buns!

Isn't Esa a girl's name? Don't hurt me Esa!!*huddles in corner* uh, Stampy and snowball II should get married. their children would be Elecats, or some such thing. Are you looking at my bum you bum looker? conclusion: Esa could kick my ass. hehe, i stole your conclusion idea! oh god... that sucked. Random guy: it suuuurreeee did! Random guy #2: And how! wait! what was the question again? - Sofia

Thano : Never imitate Evergreen Terrace's staff. Prepare for assimilation.

I think we all know the answer to this question; my left leg. Oh, wait, wrong question. Um.. married aye, well, I'll have to go with itchy and scratchy, for obvious reasons. Now, back to that nice story about the bloke who waggles cucaburraas yahoo serious style. Man do I love my Australian porn. - His name was Esa, he was a showgirl...

Thano : Acting in Australia porn rules! Especially when they bring in the Kangeroos and... wait, what am I saying?!
Lee : You were there too, Thano?

The obvious one is Skinner and Krabappel... but that's boring, so... how about Mr Burns and Ms Hoover. DOn't ask why I thought of that. I think it might have been because I was looking at a fire whilst cleaning the floor (Hoover, vacuume cleaner... ehh forget it!). In the words of my favourite Muppet, "You are all weirdos!" - Graham Dawson

Kermit the Frog : It's tough being a frog.
Miss Piggy : Hi, Kermie!
Kermit the Frog : You stupid f*&^ed up pig! Didn't I tell you to stay the F*(& away from me?
Kermit the Frog : That's it, frog! *grabs Kermit and knocks him out cold*
Lee : Don't worry Miss Piggy, come to big daddy Lee and gimme some love.
Miss Piggy : Aaaaaaah! *knocks Lee out, throws him in a dumpster*
Space Coyote : ...We'll be right back, kids.

I would like to see Ralph and the two twin girls get married. We all know Ralph is a true pimp and he has one word for us, "Manojetua" (spelling) - Mike Rubenstein

Thano : I always thought Smithers was the pimp? He's quite the ladies man, he is...
Lee : Manojetua? I didn't know you guys were into that sort of thing, come join the party!
Eric : Oh no I'm not.
Nate : For those of you just joining us; Lee is really really gay.

Think back to the college years Adam... forward, I mean. Okay, from what I can see, Stampy and Helen Lovejoy should get married. She should walk out on Tim, because he likes the trains more than her. She moves in with Stampy because everybody knows Elephants are the worlds greatest sex machines, right? Anyway, Eric Rules, Thano Rules, Lee Rules, now where's me Elephant? - Adam Wolf

Thano : You'll get nothing and like it. Besides, my name should've come before Eric's because I rule more.
Eric : No wonder I didn't hear about Adam being named world's greatest sex machine.

Ralph and Mrs. Krabappel. She can't resist his pure manliness anymore, and lures him in with promises of paste, and the possibility of more paste to come. - Chris "We paid for blood!" Rodriguez

Thano : When the excess paste comes, he should make sure to pull his paste brust outta the jar. The more you know.

Herman and Ms. Krabappel. Why? I have no idea. But wouldn't it be cool? A few years into the future MRS. Krabappel (she didn't feel like changing her name...what is she, a slave?) gets tired of Herman, so she decides to be a slut again. When Herman finds out, he goes mad with rage and shoots everybody. I was going to make a story but I have to go to the bathroom. The end. - Russ

Thano : I was going to think of a witty reply, but I have to go to the bathroom too. The End.
Eric : Yeah....I'll be right back...as well.
Lee : At last, we're all alone, Nate.
Nate : Wokka-Chicka Wokka-Chicka Wokka-Chicka

Krusty The Klown and Lunchlady Doris (isn't she sorta dead or sumpin though?...) and if u remember in some episodes (not the REALLY early ones) it is revealed the Krusties real face is white with a red nose... :) imagine if they had a kid (shudder) - Matt Bonyak

Thano : Lunch Lady Doris is one attractive lady according to Eric... I think he loves her
Eric : Ah garsh...hu-yuck, heh heh.
Space Coyote : I think I'm going to be sick.

I think Patty or Selma should marry Raineer Wolfcastle because something that awkward probably wouldn't actaully happen but the Simpson's seem to make those things work out well - Andrew Kowaleski

Nate's Dad : My son just came back from college the other day and I'm horrified to find that he's a neeeerd.
Everyone : *laughs*
Nate's Dad : It's not a comedy.

Santa's Little Helper and Snowball II because they've been living in sin. - Val Gilbert

Thano : A dog and a cat.. that would make a cog... or a dat..
Eric : What the hell are you talking about?
Thano : *hangs his head* I just don't know anymore

I'd like to see Skinner and Krapoble get married. They need to tie the knot and stop slinking around the janitor's room - Brandi Ott

Ralph : Mrs. Krabapple and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies, and the baby looked at me.
Wiggum : The baby looked at you?
Lee : Intercourse?

After Marge goes crazy and kills Homer because he is a big, fat, drunken pig, she realizes she misses it and marries Barny. (The drunk, not the purlpe dinosaur!) - Wiggum

Thano : She could marry the purple dinosaur... but he loves EVERYONE... *shudder*
Mr. Hankey : Howdy ho!
Everyone : Mr. Hankey, the christmas poo, he loves me, and I love you.
Barney : You set a bad example for our children, Mr. Hankey.
Mr. Hankey : Oh yeah? Take this, you no good dinosaur! *chucks poo at Barney, Barney ducks, the poo hits Nate*
Nate : Agh, my eyes! The goggles do nothing!

I would just love to see Cecil Terwilliger bust out of jail and then marry Luanne Van Houten and live off her while perfecting his scheme for revenge. - Anonymous

Thano : Wouldn't we all?
Nate : Hey guys, do I have poo on me?
Eric : I think you'd rather not know.

I would like to see Moe and Mindy Simmons from the episode where see and Homer meet. I think they should be married because they both can't keep a long term relationship and it would be interesting how it would turn out. - Mike Zoller

Eric : Mindy has a motorcycle.
Nate : Uh oh, a serious response. Uh.. poop!
Space Coyote : Bravo, Nate.
Thano : Nate and Lee, sitting in a tree...
Lee : Not that there's anything wrong with that.

mmm...How about Lisa and a...Carrot! She'd be Lisa Carrot, HeeHeeHee...Or a cucumber! Even better...(Note to self...Break the salad shooter right now...Good boy.) - Shawn, the Mambo King

Frank, the Mambo King : I am the real Mambo King! Let's have a Mambo-off!
Lee : I am the mambo queen! Uh.. king, king!
Space Coyote : *stares at Lee*

I think it would be really funny if Ned Flanders married Patty or Selma!! (After all, his wife is leaving) - Jeff

Eric : Where's she going again? Morocco?
Nate : DEATH!!!
Eric : That's just the dog, Nate.

I thinkMr. BUrns and Marges sisters would be a good couple or threesome shall we say - Logan Stines

Nate : We shall!
Thano : You are one disturbed man.

I think Sideshow Mel and Edna krabappel should marry and name their kid Krabshow Appelside - Jay Leno

Thano : I love your show Mr. Leno. Excellent response... can I be a guest?
Jay Leno : No you may not. Only Conan may dance.

Santas Little Helper and Hans Moleman, because Hans wouldn't be able to see who or what he was marrying! Haha! - Petey

Thano : Lee looks a bit like Hans Moleman.
Nate : Yea! Right down to his.. 2 arms.

Smithers gets hit in the head and forgets his "true" feelings then meets Miss Hoover. The have a mutual attraction until Burns boy begins to remember who he is. Then the school marm suffers the inevitable rejection. Boo-Hoo-ver. - Debbo D.

Thano : What are his "true" feelings? Are you trying to imply something?
Nate : That'll show that school marm.

I want to see Maggie and the baby with one eyebrow get married. Or possibly Mr. Smithers and Mr. Burns (we all know Smithers is YOU KNOW WHAT) - Tomoyuki Ishiwata

Thano : Heh heh... and we ALL know what Smithers is... umm... lactose intolerant, right?
Eric : Yes, plus he's Monty Burns' assistant.
Nate : I think they mean he prefers the company of men.
Space Coyote : Who doesn't?

Comic Book Guy and Homer - HomerMAX

Thano : What's with all of these gay marriages?! Has the whole world gone gay!? Well, at least Smithers hasn't yet... he is one butch character.

After feeling jealous because of Ms. Crapoble and Princpal Skinner, Ms. Hoover goes on a drinking binge and wakes up in Hawaii with... Patti? And the craziness ensues. - JasonDee

Thano : I have a feeling that you people are into the whole "Simpsons going Gay/Lesbian" thing...
Homer : I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming!
Lee : Ohh, be nice...

Whelan Smithers and guest star Ellen Degeneres. No comment. - Jerry "Ay Caramba!" Niles

Thano : That's more like it, a manly man like Smithers should marry a real woman like Ellen. It's a shame that you can't read, and didn't answer the damn question correctly.
Eric : Oh I see, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers? First name Waylon, is it? Listen to me, you! When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes, and shove 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!
Thano : You don't have a boat.
Eric : Well...okay, you got me there. So what? You've got a girlfriend, I've got a rash. Big deal.

I would like to see Bart marry Milhouse. "You're an octowussy. 'Woah! Look at me! I'm Bart Simpson. I'm scared to use a gun. I wanna marry Milhouse. I walk around like this. "La la la la la la la"'" - What a Silly Bunt

Thano : Ok... I think that's just about enough for gay/lesbian marriages tonight...
Eric : You spoke too soon.

i want to see waylon smithers get mr. burns all liquered up and get married it would be so funny when waylon tries to give him the heimlich and it looks like....well....you know what it would look like. - yo dude kart?

Thano : Would it look like Smithers was trying to do the unspeakable? You know... *whisper* wear white after Labour Day?
Space Coyote : The next time I hear a suggestion about Smithers getting married I'm going to scream.

I'd like to see smithers get married to John (the gay john). - Matt Lawton

Thano : What? That wouldn't work unless they were both gay!
Eric : I....I don't understand. Why would Smithers want to marry a gay person?
Space Coyote : AAAAAAAAAAHH!

Obviously, Burns and Smithers, in a homosexual marriage... nothing personal... - Javier Concha

Lee : I am offended!
Nate : For those of you keeping score at home, Lee is a homosexual.
Thano : Oh my god! After all of these replies about the Smithers-Burns thing I've come to a conclusion, Burns is bisexual! What a twist in the show!

I'd like to see Luanne Van Hounten and that Chase guy get married. Cause then he would always be around the house and maybe he could teach Milhouse how to do some cool stuff and then Bart would get jealous and hate Homer. Then, what would happen is, Homer would turn Bart against Milhouse and then Bart would kill Milhouse! I tell ya, that would be a good 23 minutes! - Eric "Maude, eh?" McKeon

Thano : It would... and while all of that is happening, maybe Patty and Selma can get into a fued which results in them going on the Jerry Springer show and beating each other with chairs. Meanwhile, Martin gets caught for cheating because he forgot to study for a test and Lisa helps him get off scotch free with Principal Skinner and then they run off and go on a bank robbing rampage filled with sex, drugs and alcohol... or shirly temples. Now THAT would be a good 23 minutes.

Selma and Apu. She'd become Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure Nahasapeemapetilon. Then she'll divorce him, marry Krusty, and be Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure Nahasapeemapetilon Krustofski. She'll get divorced yet again, marry Joey-Jo Jo, and together they shall be known as Mr. and Mrs. Joey-Jo Jo Junior Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure Nahasapeemapetilon Krustofski Shabadoo. Heh heh heh, I could do this aaaaaaall day. - space coyote

Eric : Please don't.
alt.tv.simpsons poster : When did Selma marry Hutz? I don't understand!
Thano : Get me a map, I'm lost.

The Winner: I think in this day and age of acceptance and tolerance, Nelson and Milhouse would make a swell gay couple....Nelson of course, the dominant, leather-wearing cockmaster, and Milhouse the submissive bottom-boy. If either of them gets out of line, I'm calling the Boognish..... - Captain Fantasy

Thano : Good god almighty, you were the last submission so you win. And you mentioned the almighty Boognish... I'm sick of these gay marriages, I'm going home. Lee, stop hugging me.
Lee : Aww, come on Thano, please.
Thano : *raps Lee over the head with an iron rod*
Eric : Oooh, that's gotta hurt.

McBain's Conclusion : Maybe you all are homosexuals too.