Thano : What in the holy name of Jesus are you talking about?
Eric : I don't think any of us expected him to say that.

Tie their waist to a bridge with about 30 feet of rope, then, tie a 20 foot piece of fishing line around their necks to the bridge. Shave their heads then superglue their hands to their heads. Push them off the bridge. When they are pulled up they will be holding their head in their hands. - Jeff Ashby

Thano : I think you've thought about this way too much. I'm scared, hold me.
Eric : What? Only if you hold me. No no no, fishing line won't work. You need twine, pure twine.

Well, quite simply lock him in a room with Eric - 5 minutes with Eric and Mr. Wilson will top himself! Just think of all the X-Rated things that Eric would do to him, actually don't! - Dave Wardle

Thano : *shudder*
Eric : Yes that Eric McKeon is an evil person....very evil!
Brad Dugan : So I'm not supposed to think?... too late. Ewww.
Russ : Ah, that's already been done. I've got pictures.
Eric : Must kill Dave...weeeeee!

Thano : That wouldn't kill them, that'd just be damn nasty! Good idea.
Lee : I'm peeing in the coffee, give me a raise!
Eric : You're fired.
Brad Dugan : Damn you! That was my coffee! MY COFFEE!
Russ : Then can we stab 'em in the back while they're gulping it down?
Eric : Well, while in Rome...
Thano : What the hell are you people talking about?

Lock them all in a room together and put Simpsons multimedia in their pockets. They'll kill each other. - Patrick McFadden

Thano : That's an... interesting... theroy.
Eric : Way to spell, Mr. "I'm From Canada and they think I'm slow...ehh?"
Russ : I read this five times and still didn't get it.
Thano : Are you from Canada too?

Give them a real bustafazoo! - Peter

Thano : Bustafazoo? Hahahaha.
Eric : That's going in the act.
Russ : Where's my dictionary...

Restrain them in chairs like Mr. Burns did to Santa's Little Helper in 8F17 and make them watch every episode of "The Simpsons." - Deb

Thano : That's a punishment?
Eric : Wow, someone's memorized the episodes by production code. That's what snpp.com does to us.
Russ : Damn, you're tough. *enough harsh sarcasm for tonight*

Slow agonizing torture, then death. First, I would strap them to chairs and make them look at all the stupid, unoriginal, content-less sites they have caused with their stupid copyright letters. Then after they go crazy, subject them to Itchy and Scratchy like violence. If they still survive, just hack 'em to bits with an ax or somethin'. - Gina

Thano : I like the way you think.
Eric : Heh...someone better tell Dennis the Menace to stay away from Gina.
Russ : Gina, if you ever get mad at me, give me a chance to call you and apologize.

First, you stab them in the brain - James Smith

Thano : Then you should twist, because the wound won't close up. I heard that in that movie... Faceoff. Yeah, that was cool. (insert awesome quote from the movie here)
Eric : The coolest part of Face/Off is when the faces come off.
Russ : What else James? WHAT ELSE? YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HANGING! OH GOD!
Thano : Which way do you 'Swing' Russ?

Feed'em to Alan Smithee and Adam Wolf at the same time. - Jack Stanton

Thano : I think that Smithee and Wolf would eat each other first.
Eric : I agree. Adam once tried to eat my left arm.
Russ : I'm hungry.
Eric : Now that's just disturbing.

Take them into the basement of my house in the woods and make one stand in the corner while I kill the other. - Scorpio

Eric : I heard Scorpio's basement is creepy....he keeps the Olmec Indian head in there.
Russ : Suuure, Eric.

suffocated them w/ horrible smelling poop - Donnie Davidson

Eric : You mean you already did that?
Russ : Oh man! *pulls pants back up*
Thano : You have skid marks in your underwear.

First off, cut off thier ass, charboil it, and feed it to them. Then use this acient technique (Which I saw in a Bond Movie) where you take out someone's organs one by one, and they can actually see thier heart stop beating. - Will "Charles Manson" O'Hargan

Thano : If I'm not mistaken, I don't think they have hearts.
Eric : Then we'll just have to give them cirosis of the liver.
Brad Dugan : We could get Smithee to charboil 'em, on account of that he works at Burger King.
Russ : Ahahahahahaha...ahahahahahahaha! Andy Capp, you wife-beating drunk! I love the comics.
Eric : Please note that Evergreen Terrace does not endorse wife beating.
Thano : But we do endorse womanizing.

You could drop an anvil on them, but hope they don't have an umbrella, though. - Jared the ET King!

Eric : I pity the fool who doesn't phone home.
Russ : ET King? Pbbft, in your dreams, poindexter.

Smack 'em with a 7 iron. - John Noble

Thano : You could get a hole in one! Hehehehe... *sigh* that was pathetic.
Eric : 9 iron's would be more effective.
Brad Dugan : You have selected power drive, may I suggest feather touch?
Russ : Mmmm...floor pie.
Eric : Ball is in parking lot. Would you like to play again?

Very, very, *very* slowly cut their throats with a sharpened c&d letter that's been soaked overnight in lemon juice. - Graham Dawson

Eric : Now everyone knows C & D letters are best preserved prune juice.
Russ : Those gilded edges smart.
Thano : Smart like your mom!... or something

The answer is simple, just make them watch fox's weeknight lineup of stellar programming. Guaranteed in a few days, they would rather die than watch another episode of 90210 the geriatric years. - robbie bunk

Thano : hat has got to be the worst form of torture possible. That, or seeing Eric naked. Why did I subject myself to that mental image? *faints*
Eric : That's what happened to your girlfriend!
Russ : Eric, these ET fans are scaring me. Hold me.
Eric : Oh no I'm not.

Blow all up with an Atom Bomb so theres lots of bits everywere. - Ceri Almrott

Eric : Kibbles and bits?
Russ : Extra beefy flavor I hope!
Thano : *climbs back up onto chair* Did you say something, I don't remember what just happened.

in the words of Deaner, "Cover them with gas and set them on fire!" sorry for yr troubles...keep it up tho! - BOOGNISH

Eric : I believe you misquoted Dean Smith.
Russ : Isn't boognish a mixture of poop and cat skin????
Thano : I like boobs.

Boiling Acid and cheap then goggles! - Eric McKeon

Thano : Zee goggles do nothing!
Eric : McKeon's brain no function beer well without.
Russ : That's gotta hoit.

Find out what their favorite shows are and have them cancelled. Find out their favorite movies and books and ban them. Hell, find out their favorite shampoo and recall it for all I care. These guys obviously don't get the point of brilliant fan websites like this one, websites that not only do not harm their respective shows, but actually increase viewership and viewer loyalty. By accessing sites like this one, fans can become further immersed in their favorite shows, whether it be "The Simpsons", "The X-Files", or anything else. I can fully understand that Fox's lawyers want to protect certain copyrighted images and sounds, but I only can understand that if a webmaster is making money off of those particular images or sounds. It's just a sad situation, and I certainly have not gained respect for the Fox network after these numerous site closings. - Chris "Law-talkin' Guy" Rodriguez

Thano : So, you're going to kill them how?
Eric : Oh no, not their shampoo!
Brad Dugan : Mr. Hunny Bunny!
Russ : Quit talking, talky!

Pull his heart out from his chest, and show it to him so he can see how black it is before he dies :-) - Maddie C.

Eric : Yes, that's a cool finishing move in Mortal Kombat.
Russ : What if it's not black? The plan's all ruined!
Scorpion : Get over here!

I've got a seven iron in my trunk. And road flares. - Justin "I've got a few ideas, most of them involve your ass" Grace

Thano : Wow, we could make exploding golf balls out of them! I remember this one time, I was at a golf course and I put an exploding golf ball on one of the guys tee's and he hit it, but it didn't explode because I accedently put a real ball on, and the exploding one was still in my bag. That never really happened, but it would've been a good story if it did!
Eric : That happened in Caddyshack ya bum!
Russ : But Eric, what about the jello?
Eric : That was Happy Gilmore!

Wrap them up in a blanket and throw them off a bridge! Haha. - Will

Thano : Tee hee!
Eric : Curly, straight. Curly, straight. Curly, straight!
Russ : Bahahaha, Thano said tee-hee. I bet he throws like a girl.
Russ's sister : Yeah, he throws like me!
Thano : *cries*

Send a broken cd of puffdaddy TO puffdaddy, and say its from fox - Joe Blow

Eric : It only hurts us to hear 'Puff Daddy' actually mentioned.
Russ : Uh, yeah, yeah, uh, uh, yeah, kick it.
Thano :*wipes his tears* Stop making fun of me!

I think the best way is to let them suffer first-instead of quick, there gone. Something in the direction of burning them at the steak, or put them in Mr. Burns smoke stacks, and let the sufficate!

Eric : Someone's been watching waaaaay too much South Park.
Russ : Let's give a lesson about homonyms, Eric.

Easy. Dress the Lawyers up as MacGuiver and send them to Selma and Patty's. Watch the fun as they try to make contraceptives out of matchsticks and paperclips! - Nerf

Thano : Yeah, lets see MacGyver get outta that little predicament!
Russ : Now THAT'S using your noodle!

Get them out of their world of greed and lies, set them down and make them write for a Simpson's fan site. After a day they'll realize how pathetic they are for being the complete assholes they are and shoot themselves in the head. - Carl Johnson: Supreme Reader

Thano : We have a supreme reader?
Eric : Pfft....I read at a 78th grade level.
Russ : A supreme reader can't do better than this? That's depressing.
Thano : Nah, anything that involves FOX people being shot in the head is cool.

The best way to kill the retarded lawyers from Fox would be to send them to line them up, one by one and drop old out dated computers on them from a highrise apt building (like from the Canadian tv show SCTV) - Tennigirl_76

Thano : Not my Commadore 64!
Eric : Dude, I had a Commadore 64. Ever play Ghost Busters on that?
Russ : TenniGirl_76, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. This is starting to sound like a cheezy aol chatroom!
SimpTree : Leave Thano's commodore alone. Wait a minute, why the hell am I typing on this page? ....I just want attention.
WizardOfET : ROFL.

The Winner: The trick is to make them think you like them. Well, first of all I'd pick up Dennis Wilson and take him shopping to the places he wanted to shop in. Then we'd do lunch, probably "The Cheese House". Later we'd play some golf. That night we'd go to the Opera, probably "Deflatermaus", and I'd follow it all up by driving the bastard to a secluded beach where I'd choke him with sand. I'd make sure the sand had dog shit in it. :::pushes keyboard away, lays back in adjustable extra-large swivel chair, and stews under the moonlight::: - Hari Wierny

Thano : You are one sly cat, Mr. Hari Wierny.
Eric : Oooh, sounds nice. Can I come too, Hari?
Brad Dugan : It's pronounced "nuclear", nuclear.
Russ : How romantic.
Thano : Will you marry me?

Conclusion : Do not trust anyone British.